Intimate Confessions
by gijane197702
Summary: A LupinTonks fic. A backstory into what happened between them. End of 'OotP' carries on into 'HBP'. COMPLETE.
1. Telling Nymphadora

Intimate Confessions

Gijane

Rated: R/M (Whatever! Just to be on the safe side)

Disclaimer: I wish I owned just a single percentage of the _Harry Potter_ world. I'd be so happy. However, I don't, I'm just borrowing them. Ms Rowling and her associates own everyone.

Summary: A Lupin/Tonks fic. (My new favourite 'ship!) This is a back-story to what happened between Remus and Dora. We know something did! It's broken up into three parts: Part One: 'The Order of the Phoenix'; Part Two: 'The Half-Blood Prince'; Part Three: 'The Discussion' (I think the titles are self-explanatory). The plotline continues into my Year 7 epic fic that I've started.

Chapter Note: Even I was gagging from the sappiness while writing. However, it had to be said.

Thanks to beckettslady, greta2242, tmirane, and siriusgirl for reading and making comments and/or suggestions.

Special thanks to DarkerRage, my beta, for putting up with all my Americanisms. I still say the words look funny spelt 'wrong'!

Part One: 'The Order of the Phoenix'

Chapter One- Telling Nymphadora

Nymphadora Tonks felt a steady stare trained on her as she gradually regained consciousness. Slowly, she opened her eyes. Turning her head towards the window, she met the amber eyes of Remus Lupin.

"Wotcher, Remus." She smiled at him.

"Wotcher yourself Nymphadora." He replied with a faint smile in return knowing he was on the very short list of people that could call her by her given name, without her correcting them.

Tonks looked around, taking in her surroundings like any good Auror would. Frowning slightly, she asked, knowing the answer but wanting to hear it from him, "Where are we?"

"St Mungos, spell damage recovery ward." His faint smile grew broader as she made a face.

"What happened? My memory's kind of fuzzy."

Lupin leaned in and took both of her hands in his. Tonks, while startled at his sudden affection, did not say anything and set herself to enjoy it, until she saw the look on his face. His smile had faded and he was looking rather grim.

"Remus," she questioned. "Are Harry and the kids okay?"

"Harry and the other students are fine. So is everyone else. Dumbledore Portkey'd them back to Hogwarts. They all had minor injuries, but nothing that Madam Pomfrey couldn't heal."

"And how long ago was this?"

She hissed as Lupin replied, "Six days ago."

"I've been out for six days!"

"Yes." He answered simply.

"What's going on? What about work?" Tonks started asking questions, but Lupin put his hand up to silence her.

"You're on leave for at least another week. The Minister released a statement the night of the Battle informing the wizarding world of Voldemort's return.

"About bloody time!" She interjected, causing a smile to cross Lupin's face. "Sorry, please continue."

He placed a small kiss on the back of her hands, then said, "Fudge met with Dumbledore and finally listened to him. _The Daily Prophet_ is finally printing the truth. Harry is once again 'The Boy That Lived' and the Headmaster has been reinstated to all he was removed from."

"And where is my damned cousin? Out flirting with the Welcome Witch? If the world knows the truth, then Sirius' name has been cleared and he's got 14 years to catch up- "She trailed off at the pained expression on Lupin's face. "What happened?" she whispered. "Tell me the truth."

"Sirius," Lupin cleared his throat. "Sirius and Harry both ducked a curse that wound up hitting you, knocking you out."

"That explains the aching chest." She said, unconsciously rubbing her chest.

"Sirius took off after Bellatrix, shouting at Harry to run for cover. He went to finish your duel with her." He paused, drew a breath, and then continued. "They wound up on the dais. Dumbledore came in and the other Death Eaters scattered, but Sirius and Bellatrix were locked in a fierce duel. You know how much he hated her, and she returned his feelings." Lupin paused again. "So, they were duelling. Sirius ducked the first curse she had thrown at him, but while he was taunting her to do better, he took the second right in the chest. He went through the veil."

"What!" Tonks let out a choked sob. "Oh, Remus." She broke down.

Lupin held her until her initial shock wore off. Sniffling while and trying to regain control of her emotions, she had a sudden thought and a look of pain crossed her face.

"Remus, I only really knew him for a year, regardless of the fact that he was my cousin. We had some great times together at Grimmauld Place, but you two had been friends for nearly-"

"25 years." Lupin finished sadly for her. "Twelve of which we lost due to him being unjustly imprisoned in Azkaban."

"How are you?" She asked hugging him fiercely.

She noted he did not let go as he answered, "As well as I can be."

"Where are you staying? Not at Grimmauld Place, all alone with Kreacher the Creepy are you?" She pulled away from him to look at him with a look of true horror on her pale, heart shaped face. Lupin smiled fondly at the nickname that the three of them had drunkenly created for Sirius' house elf one wild night.

"No, I'm back at my family home. Dumbledore had us temporarily evacuateGrimmauld Place until Sirius' will is found and verified. We know he left everything to Harry. The Order left in case there is some family loophole about a non-Black, Harry being a Potter, inheriting. In that case, 12 Grimmauld Place would belong to Bellatrix, the oldest living Black family member. Well, the oldest one recognized by the family."

"No!" Tonks gasped. "She killed him!"

"Exactly. But we'll have to just wait and see what happens with the will." Lupin rubbed his eyes wearily. The hard part, telling Nymphadora, was over.

"What have you been doing since then?"

"I've been here, waiting for you to wake up." He answered softly.

Tonks turned her dark eyes to meet his amber ones. Their gazes locked. She and Lupin had been dancing around their mutual attraction to one another for the past year, much to Sirius' amusement. They both had very strong feelings for each other, having slowly fallen in love as they got to know each other better, spending much of their time together keeping her cousin company at Headquarters as night. Sirius supervised them and gave his approval to their match as both their friend and head of her family ("You two would be great for one another. The werewolf and the Metamorphmagus. What a pair! I love it!" He would say.) However, Remus kept giving him excuses ("I'm too old for her, too poor, too dangerous!") They were noble excuses, but still excuses, and Sirius had not bought them. Especially since both Tonks, and eventually Lupin, had separately admitting their feelings towards one another to him.

Tonks smiled, as the memory of her cousin telling her that time would win Lupin out in the end drifted through her mind. "You waited six days for me to wake?"

"I knew I had to be the one to tell you." He replied quietly.

Tonks was suddenly restless. "I have to get out of here!" She shot Lupin a pleading look.

He understood at once. "Are you sure you can leave? Feeling all right?" At her nod, he continued. "I'll go and find a Healer and we'll get you discharged." Standing up, he finally let go of her hands. Kissing her cheek, he quickly left her private room in search of a Healer.

"Well colour me purple! Sirius Black, where ever you are, this is your doing, isn't it?" She asked aloud. She swore she saw the daisies in a vase on her bedside nightstand blow in a sudden breeze.

The door to her room reopened and Lupin, along with a young Healer, entered. "I hear you wished to be discharged, Miss Tonks."

"Yes, please. I feel fine. I want to go home."

"Yes, well, let me just quickly examine you and then we'll see. Mr Lupin, if you don't mind?" The Healer waved his hand towards the door.

"Ah, yes, of course." Lupin stood and made towards the door.

"I want him to stay!" Tonks said suddenly. Both the Healer and Lupin looked at her, surprised.

"Miss Tonks, that is highly…"

"I don't care! He can wait behind the privacy screen. I don't want to be alone right now. Remus, go sit." She pointed at the screen and smiled as he obeyed.

The Healer looked scandalized, but allowed Lupin to stay. After quickly examining her, he signed her discharge papers and scurried out of the room.

"Good riddance." Tonks muttered. Lupin let out a laugh. "Come out from behind there and help me up you!"

Coming out from behind the screen, he grabbed her hands and pulled her up. Tonks, being Tonks, tripped over her own foot and toppled over into his arms. She went scarlet (as she always did when he caught her). Lupin grinned.

"Here we go again. I'm glad you big strong arms were here to catch me, again." She added.

"I'll always be around to catch you, Nymphadora."

Her eyes widened, but she still whispered, "Promise?"

"I promise." He kissed her forehead, then handed her rucksack. "Go and change, behind the privacy curtain. Alone." He added at the naughty look that crossed her face.

She took the bag from him, and muttering, "Spoilsport," she went behind the screen and quickly changed into her jeans and t-shirt.

"What colour hair?" She called. It was still currently black, streaked with neon blue highlights, as it had been the night of the Battle.

"I'm fond of the bubblegum pink." He replied.

Tonks smiled behind the curtain and quickly morphed her hair pink. She frowned at the slight twinge that lingered. "Okay, here I come." She called and stepped out from behind the screen. She noted that Remus had folded up her various clothing and her blanket. She handed him the rucksack and he placed everything inside.

Tonks went over to the vase of daisies on the bedside nightstand. She took them out and placed one behind her ear. "Daisies are my favourite." She murmured.

"I remembered. Only you would love a weed."

"Ha-ha, Lupin." She stuck her tongue out at him.

Both of them grinning, they exited her private room. Tonks was surprised that Lupin steered her towards the fireplace instead of the Apparition Point.

"We'll Floo. I don't want you Apparating quite yet."

"Why, Remus, I didn't know you cared."

"I do." He said quietly.

She met his gaze and held it. "Then where are we going? I really meant it when I told the Healer I don't want to be alone right now. However, I don't want to face Mum, and Dad, quite yet. She'll be a mess over Sirius. Someone told her, didn't they?" She asked.

At Lupin's affirmative nod, Tonks took a handful of Floo Powder and tossed it onto the flames, causing them to flare up and burn green. "Take me home, Remus." She told him.

He nodded again, and then quickly conferred with a Healer and the Welcome Witch. "They'll owl your parents to let them know you've been discharged and that you're going home with me."

Tonks nodded. "I'll owl them later as well."

Taking his hand, they stepped into the flames together. Holding her close, he said, "Lupin Manor!"

TBC


	2. All About Remus

Intimate Confessions

Gijane

Disclaimer, Rating, Summary: See Chapter One

Chapter Notes: Lupin Manor- I'm going on Dumbledore's line to Sirius (sniffle for both RIP) "Lie low at Lupin's for a while; I will contact you there." _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_ (American paperback ed., p. 713) Dora starts earning the first half of her given name in this chapter. The Cotswolds are the only part of the English countryside that this American knows and has visited. And it's sheep country, so I'm being cute (Lupin...wolf…never mind). Since 'Wotcher' is a Cockney saying and her family's ancestral home (12 Grimmauld Place) is located there, I'm assuming that Dora grew up in London. Katrina is based on Ron's line in _Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets_ "House-elves come with big old manors and castles and places like that…" (American paperback ed., p 29). She is named in honour of the Gulf Coast hurricane and all her victims.

Thanks for all the reviews! I hope to update at least weekly. Depends on DarkerRage (with a bloody underscore!)

Chapter Two- All About Remus

Remus Lupin stepped out of the fireplace and into the kitchen of his ancestral home, shaking off the soot from the Floo. Nymphadora Tonks stepped out right behind him and proceeded to trip over the fire irons set off side. Lupin spun about to catch her, but her momentum was too much and they both wound up sprawled on the kitchen floor.

Grinning down at him from her perch astride him, Tonks casually said, "That's the second time in two hours you've caught me. You're really honouring that promise."

Lupin was acutely aware of her on top of him, also of the various aches that the fall had created on his worn body. Nevertheless, he said to her, "Why do I have the feeling this won't be the last time we're in this position?" He closed his eyes as if embarrassed as the double meaning to his words sank in

Tonks's dark eyes widened in surprise then began to twinkle with humour. She burst out laughing, his eyes were still closed and now he was blushing as well. Leaning in close to his ear, she whispered, "I hope this isn't the last time we're in this position. However, Remus, darling, next time we need to have a lot less clothing on. Now, would you like some tea, dear?" She asked him.

"Tea will be fine, Nymphadora." Lupin answered in a harsh strangled voice. He willed his body not to respond to the situation or her statement. Unfortunately, he failed. He opened his eyes and tried not to laugh as he saw her response to his body's reaction.

"I do hope that's more than just your wand in you pocket, darling." She shifted downwards then grinned as he went scarlet from head to toe. "Ah, it is. Very impressive." She continued, pleased with herself. "This is Lupin Manor? It's lovely."

Lupin blinked at her sudden change of subject. "Nymphadora, get off, please." He pleaded.

"Fine, spoilsport. I was rather enjoying that. You were too." She rolled off him and got to her feet, surprisingly graceful for one so clumsy. Offering him her hand, she helped Lupin to his feet.

She pulled him flush to her body. "This is another position we'll be in a lot as well." She told him not letting go of his hand right away, eyes sparking. He blushed again. "So, this is Lupin Manor?" she repeated.

"Yes. This is my family's home. Manor's rather a grand name for it, but it's been in the family for something like 12 generations now-" He trailed off as she went out the kitchen door towards the front of the house.

Putting the tea on to boil, he shook his head in amusement as she re-entered the kitchen. "Did a quick tour. Come and show me around, it will help me understand all about Remus more." She held out her hand.

Hand in hand, they exited the kitchen. He showed her around the ground floor, pointing out and explaining various historical objects and knickknacks to her and telling her stories of all the occurrences that had happened in the various rooms. They ended up in the living room.

Staring out the huge picture window, Tonks sighed at the beauty of the setting sun over the country hills. "Where are we?" she asked him.

"The Cotswolds. Near Bath."

"Lovely." Tonks repeated again. "I'm not one much for the countryside, having grown up in London, but it is so peaceful. What's upstairs?" She gestured towards the stairwell.

Remus smiled. "Upstairs there are four bedrooms and another toilet. Top floor is where the nursery and attics are located. It's not a large house, but the Lupins have been comfortable here for years. Are you comfortable?" He asked, sounding amused.

Tonks had snuggled herself onto one of the couches in the living room. "It's so clean, Remus. How do you handle the upkeep?" she asked sleepily.

"Katrina." He answered simply.

"Who's Katrina?" She was unable to keep the jealousy out of her voice.

Lupin raised an eyebrow at it, but before he could answer, there was a crack of an Apparition.

"Master!" came a shrill high-pitched voice. "Katrina did not hear you come in. Katrina was upstairs cleaning."

"Good evening, Katrina. How was your day?" Lupin glanced at Tonks. Her Auror training had automatically kicked in when the Apparition crack sounded. Now she was relaxed again and watching him and his house elf.

"Master is too kind to ask how Katrina's day was." She bowed to Lupin but was watching Tonks.

Lupin introduced them." Nymphadora, this is Katrina, my family's house elf. Katrina, this is Nymphadora-"

"Just Tonks." She interjected, as usual.

"-Nymphadora Tonks," Lupin continued as if she had not interrupted. "Who prefers to be addressed by her surname only." Tonks stuck her tongue out at him. He smiled at her and continued on, "She is going to be our guest while she recovers from her injuries sustained during the battle at the Ministry.

"Katrina will help Miss recuperate from her injuries. Katrina is glad that Miss will recover. Master has told Katrina all about you, Miss."

"Thank you, Katrina." Tonks smiled at the little house elf who was curtsying to her in her tea towel skirt. She shot Lupin a return eyebrow over Katrina's last statement. He ignored it.

"Is Master and Miss hungry? Katrina will prepare a meal if they is." The house elf had noticed the exchange between the couple, but wisely did not comment.

"I've put tea on in the kitchen, but I don't think Nymphadora will need it." Lupin waved his hand towards her. The house elf saw that Tonks was struggling against falling asleep on the couch.

"Miss needs to go to bed, Master." Katrina told him.

"Yes, I know. Can you just please make tea for one and conjure some sandwiches for Nymphadora when she wakes, and some for me now. I am going to sit with her while she sleeps. Thank you, Katrina." Lupin said this calmly, but he was worried about Tonks.

After Katrina had scurried off, he picked a slumbering Tonks up off the couch and made his way upstairs. He had already tucked her in, picked up his book off the nightstand, and had sat down in the bedside armchair before realizing that he had brought her to his bedroom.

He was staring down at Tonks pondering what that subconsciously meant when Katrina's voice came from the door. "Master brought Miss to Master's bedroom. Is Miss going to be Katrina's Mistress soon?"

Lupin looked up to see his house elf balancing a loaded tea tray with her magic. There was a wishful expression on her face. He hated to let her down. "We're just friends. I'm not even courting Nymphadora." He suddenly realized what bringing her to his bedroom truly symbolised. Voicing his desires aloud for the first time, he told her, "I wish, Katrina, I really wish that she could be your Mistress, but you know why that will never happen." Lupin leaned in and gently brushed a stray strand of pink hair from Tonks's cheek.

"Why, Master? Miss is young, beautiful, and powerful. And Miss comes from an excellent family. She would make an excellent Mistress."

"Yes, Katrina, she would make an excellent Mistress. However, remember what your Master is. Plus, I'm too old for her and too poor."

"Master talks nonsense. Miss loves Master for who he is, not what he is. Miss cares not for the rest. Katrina hopes Master will see this soon." With that parting advice, she Disapparated.

Lupin stared at the now empty doorway in disbelief. How could Katrina see that Tonks loved him and he could not? He knew she had to have some feelings for him besides friendship. He wasn't stupid. He knew that there was an attraction between them, but did she love him? He had fallen desperately in love with her for all the reasons that Katrina had listed. But for him, most of all, he loved her for just being herself. She looked so small tucked up in the master bed that had seen numerous generations of Lupins being born, married, and dying. She fitted in so perfectly, so easily here, it almost frightened him.

Several hours later Tonks finally stirred. It was late night and Lupin had conjured several lit candles. He was still reading in the bedside armchair. He paused as she sat up in bed.

"Good evening, sleepyhead. How are you feeling?" He asked in a light voice, but it was underlined with concern.

"Much better." Tonks yawned loudly, causing Lupin to smile. She went to say something, but the bedroom door swung open revealing Katrina and her full tea tray.

"Miss is awake! Does Miss require anything? Tea? Food?" Lupin shook his head, amused at the house elf's enthusiasm.

"Good evening, Katrina. Just tea, please, I'm not hungry. Thank you." Tonks smiled as the house elf beamed at her, rushing over a cup of tea.

"Master wishes to tell Miss something." She told her.

"Katrina!" Remus interjected, in his professor's voice. "That's enough. Nymphadora and I are fine for the rest of the night. Off to bed, please." Tonks raised an eyebrow at his tone, but just sipped her tea.

"Good night, Master. Good night, Miss." Katrina bowed low to both of them and left the doorway. Heading down the hall to her quarters, she was heard to be muttering, "Master is impertinent."

Tonks started to laugh as Lupin swung the door closed wandlessly. "'Master is impertinent'? She's rather…unusual for a house elf, no?"

"I let her get away with it. If it were not for Katrina, I would have died as a child when I was bitten. She nursed me, refusing to leave my side, until she was sure that I would survive my wounds. I'm very fond of her, and I owe her my life. So if she gets a little cheeky every now and then, I let it slide. Plus, it's funny, coming from a house elf and all."

Tonks had frozen her teacup halfway to her mouth when Lupin had starting talking about how Katrina had saved him. He never talked about himself, never mind about his attack. She pictured a savaged child, his house elf trying desperately to save him, and had to fight back tears. "Remus," She asked quietly, setting her cup aside. "Isn't it…um…usually only um…well off families that have house elves?"

Lupin smiled at her diplomacy. "The Lupins have had their fair share of ups and downs when it comes to wealth. I believe we acquired Katrina's family during one of our more wealthy times. As I told you earlier, the Lupins are an ancient family; we could give the Blacks a run for their money."

Tonks nodded her understanding, amazed he was telling her all this. "So what is it that impertinent you has to tell me?"

Lupin looked away from her. "Katrina thinks you're going to be her Mistress." He muttered eyes on the floor.

Tonks's eyes widened. "But, we're not even courting!" Looking away from him to hide a blush, she noted the carving on the headboard. "A wolf!"

"Part of the family crest." He mumbled.

"You're joking!"

"No, unfortunately I'm not. It's a play on our surname. You should hear the family motto."

"Your given name?"

"My mother was Muggle-born and she thought it would be…cute if she named me Remus, especially with a surname of Lupin. She was a disaster for days after I was bitten. That's where Dad was, with Mum. There was the fact their six year old was just bitten by a werewolf and, I found out later, she had just been warned not to have any more children as it would endanger her life. I think she miscarried a couple of times, but we never really discussed my lack of siblings. So my parents spent most of the family fortune looking for an unattainable cure for me, their heir. They left me with barely two Knuts to rub together."

Lupin glanced over at Tonks who was uncharacteristically silent. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine. How are you?"

"I'm fine. Unlike Sirius, I enjoy being at my family home. I have wonderful memories of this place and my parents. Minus that day, of course."

"It is lovely here. It's so peaceful. And I've never felt so at home. I'd love to be Mistress here." Tonks went scarlet. "Did I say that last bit aloud?"

"Yes, you did." Lupin replied calmly, but his heart was beating rapidly.

Drawing her petite frame up, she looked him squarely in the eye and bravely said, "Well, I would."

"And I'd love to have you here as Mistress, but we both know why it can't happen." He responded quietly.

"Why?" She looked sincerely confused.

He didn't respond.

They both sat staring at one another for a long time. Tonks finally pushed back her blankets and got up. She took Lupin's book from him, tossed it aside, and sat down in his lap. His amber eyes locked with her dark ones. Neither said anything.

"Kiss me, please." She finally whispered. "Please…Remus."

It was her whisper of his name that did him in. Tilting her heart shaped face up towards his own; he brushed her lips gently with his.

Tonks whimpered for more.

He complied. Running his tongue over her lips, she parted them for him. Their mouths fused instantly.

They sat exchanging kisses and holding one another into the early hours of the dawn. Finally sensing that she was tired again, Lupin pulled her close to him, where she snuggled up. She murmured something incoherently then fell asleep.

He looked down at her in amazement. She was his and he wasn't letting her go. Tightening his hold on her, he closed his own eyes and quickly followed his love into slumber.

TBC


	3. Nymphadora's Natural State

Intimate Confessions

Gijane

Disclaimer, Rating, Summary: See Chapter One

Chapter Notes: Warning: Remus grieves in this chapter. But, Dora helps him through it of course! After much debate, a few L/T'ers and I decided on Dora's natural hair colour and it's not that mousy brown colour either! Remus and Dora go through his noble excuses. Based it on the line "I've told you a million times…" in _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_ (American Ed, p. 624) I did the maths with Remus and Andromeda; it's possible, even probable. The term 'lycanthropy' (I hope we all know what that is!) is not used in canon, but I think it's just too big of a word for the kiddies (Remember these are technically children's novels!). However, since (most) of us are adults, I'm using it. Know I've read the Mistletoe Theory somewhere…take credit if it is yours.

Reviews! Love reviews! Thanks to all!

Chapter Three- Nymphadora's Natural State

Nymphadora Tonks woke up to discover three things. One – it was late morning. Two – she felt much better. Three – the most important – she was cuddled in Remus Lupin's lap and he was hold on to her tightly. She smiled as she watched him sleep. He was a very handsome man, the grey in his brown hair adding a touch of distinction to his already powerful aura.Tonks realized that she had never seen him as vulnerable as he was now. He had opened up to her last night, pouring forth emotions and information that she just instinctively knew he had never told anyone else. She decided if he could be so open and honest, then she could be as well. In addition, she knew where to start.

Leaning in close to his ear, she whispered, "Good morning, darling."

His eyes instantly snapped open. Gathering his surroundings, he looked at her and asked, "Nymphadora?"

"Yes, it's me. This is my natural state."

Lupin stared at the woman in his lap. He looked her up and down. She was a bit heavier and her breasts were a bit larger. Her pale, heart shaped face and dark eyes were still the same, but her hair was waist length, curled at the tips, and blonde. She looked exactly like-

"My aunt Narcissa." Tonks finished his thought aloud for him.

"But not that pale white blonde. A warm honey coloured blonde instead." Lupin said quietly. "I will not even go into the symbolism behind the colour differences. Thank you for showing me."

"The honey blonde colouris from my dad. But I look like dear Aunt Narcissa when natural. Now you know why I morph my hair all those different colours. I don't want to be reminded of my Black family. Sirius was the only decent, well besides Mum, Black relative I had. Now he's dead, thanks to dear Aunt Bellatrix."

"It's hard to believe that you, Bellatrix Lestrange, and Narcissa Malfoy are even, um, even…"Lupin was at a loss for words.

"Exactly, there are no words. Please, don't remind me again." Tonks scrunched her eyes up as if thinking hard and a split second later, her hair was short, spiky, and bubblegum pink again. She winced slightly, but not noticeably.

"I do love the pink." He told her, as he tugged on a short lock.

"I'm rather fond of it myself." She wrapped her hand around the back of his neck. "You need a trim." She murmured.

"Yes, I know. How are you feeling?" he asked. He was still playing with her hair.

"Better." She began to trace an old scar on his neck.

"I use to bite myself before Wolfsbane Potion was invented. Actually, that particular scar came from Padfoot, not I. He had to control me one full moon."

"Why did he have to control you? Didn't you head to the Shrieking Shack every full moon?"

"He never told you why he was illegal Animagus?" At her negative headshake, he continued, "When Dumbledore first invited me to Hogwarts he made provisions for me. I never dreamed I'd find a friend, never mind three of them. By about second or third year, can't remember which, Sirius, James - Harry's father - and…Peter had figured out what was going on with me. But they didn't abandon me." Lupin paused to take a deep breath. "By fifth year, they had become illegal Animagi and we use to run around the Forbidden Forest together at the full moon."

"Oh my God…Remus! Do you know how dangerous that was?" The Auror in Tonks was horrified.

"Yes, I know, it was completely stupid of us." He sighed. "You've seen Padfoot. James was a stag, Prongs. Together, they were large enough to control me. I became less wolfish in their company, but I was still dangerous."

"Did anything ever happen? Or come close to happening?"

"Snape was lurking around the entrance to the Shack one night during sixth year, tipped off by Sirius. He saw me. Actually, I nearly bit him. James, upon finding out what Sirius had done, arrived in time to save him. Snape was sworn to silence by Dumbledore. A silence he broke when he let slip the nature of my condition after that incident while I was teaching, therefore had to resign. That's why he hates Harry and me so much."

"Because you, regardless that you were not able to control yourself then with no Wolfsbane Potion, nearly bit him and because Harry looks just like James, minus the eyes. He's reminded of James. And of James saving his skin." Tonks concluded.

"And he hated Sirius because he's the one who dropped him the hint."

"Typical git, Snape. While it was a bad prank, it was still a prank." Tonks shook her head. "I wonder if he gave me more hell than usual during Potions because I was related to Sirius."

"Probably, but from what I've heard, you weren't exactly a model student."

"Model student. That's funny, Professor. I know you were a model student, Mr Prefect." She laughed at the look on his face.

Lupin sighed. Closing his eyes, he went quite as the memories of his Hogwarts years came back to him. He choked back a sob.

Tonks took his face in her small hands. "Have you grieved yet? I know you were waiting for me to wake, but have you cried at all?"

"No." He whispered.

She gathered him in her arms. "Cry, darling, I'm here."

Lupin struggled to keep control for a few minutes, but her presence kept invading his sense of smell, throwing him off. He choked on another sob.

"Remus." She whispered. "Grieve. I'm here to be strong for you."

Lupin let go. Breaking down, he gripped her in a tight embrace. She planted butterfly kisses in his hair and at his temples meanwhile murmuring softly to him. Tears trickled slowing down her cheeks in response to his grieving.

Gradually, he regained control. Stroking her back, he muttered, "Thank you."

"You're welcome. That wasn't just for Sirius now, was it. He would have loved it, you know."

Lupin smiled. "I know. He would have milked it for all it was worth. That was for James and Lily as well. I never properly grieved for them either. I wasn't welcome at their funerals, being that I'm a werewolf. I went anyway, but had to stand at a distance. It was for Harry, who I saw for the first time on the Hogwarts Express three years ago. All I wanted to do was hug him. Last time I had seen him, he had been just over a year old. However, I was his professor and he had no idea who I was or what he meant to me. It was for Peter even, wondering what happened that made him betray us. Why did he do it?" Lupin asked her rhetorically. Tonks was smart enough not to answer. He continued, "Because of Peter, Harry had no parents and has to live with his horrible Muggle relations. Because of Peter, I lost James and Lily. Because of Peter, I lost twelve years with Sirius to Azkaban and I hated him because I thought he was the one that had killed James and Lily. And Peter! I swear if I even run into him! In addition, it was for you. You barely knew the only decent member, besides your Mum, of your Black family. You're blonde again." Lupin said abruptly. He had pulled back to look into Tonks's face.

"Really?" She fingered a blonde curl. "Interesting. Yesterday, I felt an unusual twinge after I morphed. Just now too. However, I dismissed it since, you know, I was injured and stuff. It's probably because I'm so emotional."

She made to scrunch her eyes for another morph, but Lupin's voice stopped her. "Wait. I like Nymphadora's natural state. Stay natural. It's probably better to let your body heal in its natural state."

Tonks looked at him for a moment. "If you say so. Now, what about us?"

"What about us?" He asked, smiling. He added 'direct' to his mental list of why he loved her.

"This!" She waved at them, her in his lap. "The kissing. This is not usual behaviour for just friends!"

Lupin grasped the back of her neck and brought her in for a kiss. "We're really good friends."

"Remus, even really, really good friends don't kiss like that. Your tongue was down my throat!"

He chuckled. "I told you last night if things were different, namely me, you'd be Mistress here. If I wasn't a werewolf, I'd be courting you right now."

"If you weren't a werewolf, you would have been married 15 years ago and had a house full of kids by now. So, don't use that line on me."

Lupin paused at her statement, "True."

"Next excuse, Lupin. Don't care that you're a werewolf. Well, I do, but it's not an issue."

"I'm too poor for you." He was pleased that his lycanthropy was not an issue for her. He also noted that she used his surname when she was annoyed with him.

"Um, let's see. You own this house. You have Katrina. You seem to be able to scrape together enough for Wolfsbane Potion every month. You might not have mounds of gold in your Gringotts vault, but do you know the obscene amount of money that the Ministry pays its Aurors? Even the junior ones, like me? 'Cause our job's dangerous or something like that. So, money's not an issue. Next excuse."

Lupin sighed. "There's no getting around this one, Nymphadora. I'm too old for you."

"It's thirteen years. That's not too bad!"

"I was a third year student at Hogwarts when Sirius got a letter and picture from Andromeda announcing your birth! Your birth! Your mother was my Head Girl during my first year."

"Oh God, really? Damn, Remus." She grabbed his neck and kissed him passionately. "Do you feel like an old man right now? 'Cause I can feel you don't."

Lupin paused, trying to think. His mind was blank.

She grinned.

"No, I don't." He muttered.

"My mother was your first year Head Girl?" She teased.

"Shut it, Nymphadora!" She smirked. "I'm too dangerous for you"

"Sigh. We're back to the werewolf thing. I've told you, I don't care! Listen, you keep your mind when you are on Wolfsbane Potion, correct. Just curl up to a harmless wolf, correct." He nodded, so she continued, "If you really want to, you can lock yourself in the basement, attic, or somewhere else during the full moon. You're out of excuses, Lupin! Congratulations, we are now courting!"

With that pronouncement, she bounded out of his lap. She tripped over his discarded shoes and ruined her dramatic exit.

Lupin, who had stood to follow her, caught her easily.

"Nice reflexes." She muttered.

"Goes with the lycanthropy."

"See, a positive benefit. I won't be hitting the floor as much. When I'm 80 and you're 93, you'll still be able to catch me. Or the kids, or the grandkids, can."

Lupin sighed. "Nymphadora, I give up."

"So, you're going to court me?"

"Yes." He sighed.

"Goodness, Lupin, if it's going to be a chore..."

He silenced her with a kiss.

She grinned. "Good, because I always get what I want. And I've wanted you for quite a while, actually."

He cocked an eyebrow. "Really, how long?"

She went pink with embarrassment. "Um, a while."

"Nymphadora-"he said in a warning tone.

"Christmas! When you kissed me last year under the mistletoe. Sirius made you. I was going to kill him! Well, anyways…Remus, what are you doing?" He had backed her into the door.

"Don't worry about me, continue." He nuzzled her neck.

She stammered incoherently.

"Can't you concentrate, love?"

"Not when you're doing that. Go sit back down!"

He grinned at her and sat back in the armchair. She perched herself on the trunk at the end of the bed.

"Christmas, Nymphadora." He prompted.

"Oh, yeah. So after you kissed me, with much cheering from the Weasley kids, remember, Molly said something about me staying overnight all the time with two bachelors and no chaperone besides a house elf." She grinned. "House elves really aren't good chaperones. Kretcher…Katrina."

Lupin let out a bark of laughter. "Let's just hope Molly doesn't find out you're here now."

"My own mother had no problems with me at 12 Grimmauld, but Molly Weasley did. Mum won't care I'm here with you either. She knows you're honourable."

"Why, thank you, Miss Tonks."

"You're quite welcome, Mr Lupin. Where was I? Ah, yes. I said back to her something along the lines of Sirius being my cousin and the head of my family, which cracked him up, remember!" They both laughed at the memory. "Molly came back with 'Well Remus isn't related to you.' And I said-"

"'He's close enough.' I remember. You nearly broke my damn heart, woman. It was those strange, shy looks you shot me the rest of the day that kept my hopes up."

"Yeah, well I had just really realized that you weren't related to me. And in fact how handsome you were-are. I realized I must have been attracted to you before that, but never must figured it out." He cocked an eyebrow. "Okay! I was denying it. Happy?"

"Yes. Nymphadora, that was seven months ago."

"Very good, Professor, you can count. What did you want me to do? Jump youone day when Sirius wasn't in the room? You would have gone crazy."

"True."

"So, I told you. You tell me. When were you attracted to me?"

"The minute I met you."

Tonks's eyes widened. "Really?" She whispered.

"Your scent drove me mad. I had never reacted to a woman's scent like that before. Sirius also noticed my reaction, cracked him up. He thought we'd be brilliant together, the werewolf and the Metamorphmagus. That's when your attraction started, by the way. I recognized you as my mate, and you responded, even if it was subconsciously."

"Oh God, really?"

"Yes." He smiled at the wonder on her face.

"Your mate, huh?"

"Yes."

"You poor bloke. Do you have any idea what you're in for?"

Lupin burst out laughing. She smiled, happy that she had made him laugh.

"Wolves are monogamous, aren't they?" She queried. "I'll have to do some more homework."

"Mostly they are. This one is."

"Good…you better be. So why that admission now? Stay over there until we're done." She ordered as he began to rise from the armchair. He sat back down, grinning when he heard her mutter, "Or I will jump you."

"Excellent hearing as well. Would you really?"

"At this moment, yes, so stay put!" She glared as he laughed. "Now, why tell me now?"

"Last thing Sirius said to me before we burst through the doors to the Death Room at the Ministry was 'If anything should happen to me, watch over Harry and finally admit your feelings for Tonks to her, would you.'"

Tonks was silent for while, then she rounded on him. "So," she hissed. "If he hadn't died, you never would have said anything?"

"Said something, no. I would have finally would have jumped you. Every time I breathe your scent, it drives me wild. I think that you would have figured it out from there."

"And now, since we're in the same room, can you smell me? And is it affecting you?"

"My sense of smell is only truly increased the week before the full moon. As are all my senses. I'm okay now."

"So, you don't want to jump me right now?"

"Oh, I do. However, you're going to have a proper courtship, even if it kills me."

Tonks went to open her mouth to retort, but there was a knocking on the door.

"Master? Miss? Mr Moody is in the fireplace. He wants to speak to you. Now, he said. So impertinent!"

Tonks laughed. "She loves that word!"

"Let's go see what old Mad-Eye wants." He stood up and strode over to her. Taking her hand, they went to the door. Lupin went to open it, but paused.

"You do realize that I'm going to court you the Marauder way?"

Before she could respond, he had her up against the door and was kissing her passionately.

She moaned in pleasure and returned his kisses.

Releasing her, he breathed in her scent at her pulse. "I lied about your scent." He whispered, causing her to shiver with passion. "It drives wild no matter what time in the cycle it is. Enjoy your courtship. It's going to be very brief." Pecking a kiss on her nose, he opened the door. Greeting Katrina, he followed his house elf to the kitchen.

He missed the grin that broke out on her face as she followed behind. TBC


	4. Thoroughly Modern Remus

Intimate Confessions

Gijane

Disclaimer, Rating, Summary: See Chapter One

Chapter Notes: Tonks and Lupin's PoV in meeting the Hogwarts Express at the end of _Phoenix_. All text in _italics_ directly taken from _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_ (American paperback ed., pgs 867-870). Since there is lots of direct text used, this chapter is long! Dora puts two and two together and comes up with some interesting answers regarding the Marauders. Dora qualified as an Auror during the spring/summer of 'GoF', going her line of "I only qualified a year ago." (American paperback ed, p 52) to Harry during the 'OotP' summer. Doing the maths, Moody could have trained her. Poor Remus, I can so picture him there in his kitchen, confused.

Reviews! I DO love reviews! Thanks!

I took their surnames out! Are you happy, Darker(with a damned underscore)Rage?

Chapter Four- Thoroughly Modern Remus

Lupinfollowed his house elf down the stairs to the kitchen. He heard Tonks following behind him, uncharacteristically silent. He smiled to himself, knowing hehad thrown her for a loop with his announcement.

"Remus." She said softly.

He paused halfway through the living room and turned round. "Yes, love?"

"Marauder?" She went into his arms.

He enveloped her, leaned back against a table, and grinned. "That's what the four of us- Peter, Sirius, James, and I- called ourselves at Hogwarts. The four Marauders, tearing the place up."

"But you were a prefect!" Tonks had a look of mock horror on her face. Lupin laughed.

"Yes, I know, but a bad one. Poor Lily, she had the workload of the two Gryffindor prefects between the full moons, me in detention with Prongs, Padfoot, or both, or the four of us running off somewhere."

Tonks laughed. "I can't see you misbehaving at all! But I also couldn't picture you with your tongue down my throat, but that just happened."

"Oh, I misbehaved all right! Tried not too, but I usually was dragged along- not that I put up much of a fight- with James and Sirius. I think Dumbledore gave James the Head Boy badge because I failed miserably as prefect. I think he thought since I couldn't, or actually wouldn't, control them, maybe making James Head Boy would."

"Did it work?"

"Only to get Lily's attention."

Tonks snorted with laughter. "Well, at least something good came out of it."

"That's precisely what Dumbledore said at their wedding."

They both laughed. It felt good to after the sadness of their previous conversation.

"Master!" Katrina called from the kitchen. "Mr Moody is waiting."

"Let's go," Lupin said, releasing her. "Can't keep old Mad-Eye waiting. He might think that Death Eaters have taken us hostage or something."

Tonks rocked with laughter and headed towards the kitchen. "I'm surprised that the entire Ministry or the Order hasn't descended on your doorstep yet. I left St Mungos yesterday evening with barely a word to anyone. And I left in the company of a known werewolf as my escort. 'We must help poor little Tonks! Send out the search party!' Moody must have contacted either the hospital or Mum, or both. Constant Vigilance!"

"You are so bad, Nymphadora Tonks." He was laughing so hard he was crying.

She smirked at him. "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good…Moony."

Lupin stopped short, totally shocked. Then he started laughing again. "Sirius?" he asked.

"No!" Tonks turned around. She looked annoyed, to his further amusement. "He never told me! I just figured it out on my own. Fabulous map, darling. Do you know how long it took Charlie Weasley and me to figure out how to operate it?"

"Filch confiscated the map from us at the end of seventh year. When and where did you find it? Of course it took a while, would you want something like that easy to use!"

"During second year, after we had another run in with Filch. I can't remember what we had done to tick him off that time." Lupin smirked as she continued. "So there I am, sweet, innocent little me," He snorted with disbelief. She ignored him. "And I notice this piece of parchment sticking out of his filing cabinet drawer, which was marked 'Confiscated and Highly Dangerous'. So, of course, I had to check it out. Charlie levitated Mrs Norris, diverting Filch's attention, and I grabbed it. Best detentions we ever earned. We only told the twins where to find it when Filch confiscated it back from us in the sixth year. I wonder who they'll pass it to?"

"Harry. Actually, they gave it to him during his third year. Same year I taught him," he informed her.

"One in the eye for Filch, Prongs's son now in possession."

Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody watched from the fireplace as the kitchen door swung open and Lupin and Tonks entered, laughing hysterically. The sight of the two of them made him smile, something he rarely did, but they weren't getting off that easily.

"Where have you two been? All I know is that Tonks left St Mungos yesterday after harassing a Healer to discharge her. You're lucky that the Healer knew your name, Lupin." Moody paused as Lupin and Tonks burst out laughing again. "Both of you are totally barking mad! I owled your mother to inform her of where you were, young lady. She told me to bugger off. She said that you were an adult and knew what you were doing. Fat lot she knows! She'll owl you later today."

"What's that mean 'fat lot she knows'? I am an adult! Good for Mum! Bugger off, Moody!" Tonks stuck her tongue out at him. Lupin bit his lip trying not to laugh.

"Remus," Moody turned to him. "I though you had enough common sense to bring her someplace safe."

"Lupin Manor is safe!" Tonks answered. "However, thanks for worrying…Dad. Is this why you're calling?" Lupin bit down harder and started turning red. Moody eyed him with his magical eye suspiciously before turning back to Tonks.

"Don't you give me lip!" Moody scolded. You only get away with it because you're the last I trained."

"Really? I didn't know that." Lupin said. Tonks rolled her eyes.

"Scrimgeour asked me to come out of retirement to train her. He was ecstatic to be getting a Metamorphmagus as a trainee. He knew she'd need extra special training. Was he ever right! You and stealth were not meant to mix, lass. Only had a few months more retirement before Dumbledore called. We know how that turned out. But, training Tonks was the best fun I'd had in years." Moody bit back another smile.

"Cheers, Mad-Eye!" She returned his smile.

"Why are you calling then, Moody?" Lupin asked.

"Ah, yes. I wanted to know if you two wanted to join Arthur, Molly and I at King's Cross this afternoon to pick up young Harry. And the Weasley children, of course. We plan to have a little… chat with his aunt and uncle."

"Absolutely." Tonks answered for both of them. "We'll meet you there."

"'Till this afternoon. You, recover." Moody said, pointing at Tonks. "You, make sure she does." He pointed at Lupin. With those parting words, his head disappeared from the magical fire.

Tonks shook her head at the now empty fireplace. "So, Professor, how are you going to help me recover?" she asked suggestively.

Lupin stared at her if all his dreams had come true as she moved into the circle of his arms. He closed his eyes in pleasure as she planted butterfly kisses along his jaw line. Her lips hovered over his for a second. He took that moment to take control and fused their mouths together.

She moaned with pleasure, pressing closer, causing Lupin to growl and intensify the kiss. He backed her up against the wall roughly. She wound a leg around his waist and rubbed against him suggestively. He growled again, deeper.

He suddenly broke the kiss. "Proper courtship." He muttered, panting slightly, to himself as a reminder. He pressed his forehead to hers. Tonks was glassy eyed and her pink lips were swollen from his kiss. She looked utterly enticing.

"More." Was all she had to say.

"Sod it." He muttered, leaning in for more but they broke apart at a booming clatter.

"Master?" Katrina stood in front of her dropped pot. He looked down at his house elf. She had tears in her eyes.

"Your Master has decided to court me, Katrina." Tonks told her gently, pulling herself together.

"Truly, Master? You make Miss my Mistress soon?" The house elf sniffled loudly.

Tonks answered for him since he was still in a trance. "Yes, Katrina. One day, very soon."

Lupin shot her a look of surprise as Katrina launched herself at him, crying tears of joy. He comforted her.

"What do you think follows courtship, Remus?" She asked, her dark eyes sparkling with humour.

"Marriage. It didn't sink in until just now." He smiled.

"Marriage to me, you poor bloke!"

Tonks laughed as Lupin picked her and Katrina up and whirled them around, laughing with pleasure.

"I never thought I'd marry, to be quite honest. How many girls would marry a werewolf?" he asked quietly, putting her down. Katrina wandered off to cook breakfast,

"This one would." She pecked him on the lips.

"Yes, you would, and for that I'll be eternally grateful." He planted a return kiss on her lips. "Now, let get up stairs and get ready to go meet Harry and the kids. Separately, Nymphadora!" He added, recognizing the naughty look in her eye. "Katrina, we'll be in London. We should be home late. Don't do dinner, we'll eat out."

"And who's paying?" Tonks asked as they left the kitchen hand in hand heading upstairs.

"You are, love."

"Thoroughly modern Remus." She grinned as he started to laugh.

Lupin and Tonks Apparated into an alleyway across the street form King's Cross later that afternoon. Carefully crossing the busy boulevard, they entered the train station.

"God, how do the Muggles not recognize wizards? Remus, look at this." Tonks pointed out Mad-Eye and the Weasleys.

Lupin followed her finger and began to laugh. Arthur and Molly Weasley were blending in all right with the Muggles, but their twin sons, Fred and George, were wearing horrible green colour jackets. Herecognized that they were made from dragon skin.

Mad-Eye Moody was carrying a long staff and wearing a voluminous cloak. To top it off, he was wearing bowler hat pulled down over his magical eye. He looked quite intimidating.

"You don't exactly fit in with the pink hair, love." Lupin told her as they crossed the station floor.

"I thought the pink was your favourite!" She tugged at a lock of hair. "Remus, darling, I do fit in. Her hair is blue." Tonks pointed at a passing Muggle. "Oh, I like her cut too. I'll have to try it sometime."

"Oh God, help me! What I am I getting myself into marrying a Metamorphmagus?" He muttered jokingly, causing her to burst out laughing.

"You're in for the time of your life, darling."

He smiled. "I know I am. And quite looking forward to it."

"Wotcher, all." Tonks greeted everyone as they joined the group. She grunted as Molly pulled her into a motherly hug.

"Tonks, dear, how are you feeling? Mad-Eye told us that you were out of St Mungos. How's your mother?"

"I'm fine. Mum's fine, Molly." Lupin raised an eyebrow at her lie. Tonks had no idea how her mother was. She had not seen her in over week at least.

"Hello, Remus." Molly greeted him, hugging him as well. Tonks went on to greet Arthur, Mad-Eye, and the twins. "How are you?" she looked anxious.

"I'm fine, thank you for asking, Molly." Lupin awkwardly returned her hug. He shot Tonks a look over Molly's shoulder. Tonks had been silently laughing at him. The twins were red faced, trying not to laugh. Arthur and Mad-Eye also looked amused.

Molly went to say something but the children had begun to be cleared for passage through the magical barrier protecting Platform 9 3/4 from the Muggle world. They waited for Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny to clear.

"There they are!" Tonks said, spotting them first. "Look at Harry's face. He clearly wasn't expecting us."

_"Ron, Ginny!" _Molly called, rushing over to her children and embracing them. Arthur followed behind her. _"Oh, and Harry dear- how are you?" _

_"Fine." _Harry said as Molly hugged him.

"That's a lie." Tonks muttered to Lupin. He nodded his agreement. "Look at Ron!" He was eyeing the twin's jackets with disbelief written all over his face.

_"What are_ they_ suppose to be?" _They heard him ask his brothers. Lupin and Tonks let out snickers.

_"Finest dragon skin, little bro." _Fred said, playing with his zipper. _"Business is booming and we'd thought we'd treat ourselves." _

"Here comes Harry, Remus." Tonks warned him quietly.

_"Hello, Harry," _Lupin said as Molly had let go of Harry. She turned to greet Hermione.

_"Hi," said Harry. "I didn't expect…what are you all doing here?"_

_"Well," said Lupin with a slight smile, "we thought we might have a little chat with your aunt and uncle before letting them take you home."_

_"I dunno if that's a good idea," said Harry at once._

_"Oh, I think it is," growled Moody, who had limped closer. _Tonks and Lupin nodded their agreement. _"That'll be them, will it, Potter?"_

Tonks and Lupin's gazes followed Moody's thumb. Harry leaned slightly to the left to see where Mad-Eye was pointing. There, across the station, were Harry's relations, all with appalled looks on their faces.

_"Ah, Harry!" _Arthur came up to greet him after he had finished greeting Hermione and her parents (rather enthusiastically). _"Well – shall we do it, then?" _he asked Moody.

_"Yeah, I reckon so, Arthur," said Moody._

Tonks, Lupin, and Harry followed the two wizards across the station to where Harry's family were standing looking horrified as the magical group approached them. Hermione detached herself from her mother and followed. Ron, Ginny, and Molly followed Hermione.

_"Good afternoon." _Arthur said rather pleasantly, in Tonks's opinion, to who had to be Harry's uncle as he stopped right in front of him. _"You might remember me, my name's Arthur Weasley."_

"How could he forget?" Tonks whispered to Lupin. "Didn't Fred and George cause Arthur to practically destroy their kitchen a couple of years ago? Something about the boy and toffees."

"Living room." Muttered Harry, correcting her.

Both Lupin and Harry tried to keep straight faces as Tonks giggled. Vernon Dursley was purple faced, but had kept silent. His wife, Petunia, looked frightened and kept looking around. Dudley Dursley was trying to hide behind his parents, an impossible feat considering how large he was.

"Wonder what that's all about." Tonks whispered in Harry's ear.

"Uncle Vernon's ready to blow. Aunt Petunia is embarrassed someone will recognize her standing with us. Dudley's terrified of wizards." He whispered back. Lupin shook his head in amazement. Tonks quietly snorted with laughter.

_"We thought we'd just have a few words with you about Harry." _Arthur continued, still smiling.

_"Yeah," growled Moody. "About how he's treated when he's at your place."_

Mr Dursley's moustache bristled. He did not respond to Arthur, but addressed Mad-Eye instead.

_"I am not aware that is any of your business what goes on in my house-" _

_"I expect what you're not aware of would fill several books, Dursley," growled Moody._

Tonks had to interrupt. She recognized Moody's mood. He wanted to pick a fight. Putting herself between Mad-Eye and Harry's uncle, she said to the Dursleys, _"Anyway, that's not the point." _Tonks shot Harry an odd look as Mrs Dursley closed her eyes, rather than look at her. _"The point is, if we find out you've been horrible to Harry-"_

_"-and make no mistake, we'll hear about it," added Lupin pleasantly. _Tonks smiled, they were always finishing each other's sentences.

_"Yes." _Arthur said. _"Even if you won't let Harry use the fellytone-"_

_"Telephone," whispered Hermione. _The others tried to keep straight faces.

_"Yeah, if we even get a hint that Potter's been mistreated in any way, you'll have us to answer to," said Moody._

Mr Dursley drew in his chest. _"Are you threatening me, sir?" _He said it so loudly that people turned to stare. Mrs Dursley whimpered.

_"Yes, I am." _Tonks and Lupin recognized Moody's tone of voice. He was happy that Mr Dursley had grasped that fact so quickly.

_"And do I look like the kind of man who can be intimidated?" _Mr Dursley barked.

_"Well…" said Moody, pushing back his bowler hat to revel his sinisterly revolving magical eye. "Yes, I'd have to say you do, Dursley."_

He turned towards Harry, ignoring Mr Dursley's yelps of pain as he collided with a luggage trolley.

_"So, Potter…give us a shout if you need us. If we don't hear from you for three days in a row, we'll send someone along." _He paused as Mrs Dursley whimpered again. _"Bye, then, Potter," said Moody, grasping Harry's shoulder for a moment with a gnarled hand._

Tonks had cocked her head to one side, trying to figure out the reason behind Mrs Dursley's piteous whimpers. She nodded her goodbye to Harry, who grinned at her.

"It's your hair." He explained about his aunt's reaction to her.

She rolled her eyes in exasperation. Harry grinned.

_"Take care, Harry," said Lupin quietly. "Keep in touch." _Tonks blinked back quick tears at his sad tone.

_"Harry, we'll have you away from there as soon as we can." _Molly told him, hugging him again.

_"We'll see you soon, mate," said Ron anxiously, shaking Harry's hand._

_"Really soon, Harry," said Hermione earnestly. "We promise."_

Lupin watched as Harry nodded, dazed at all the people who cared for him. "He seems to be at a loss for words." He whispered into Tonks's ear.

"Wouldn't you be? To have no one love for you for so long, then to get all these people caring for you." She answered sadly.

They watched as Harry smiled, raised a hand in farewell, and led the way out of the station with his relations following behind hurriedly in his wake.

"That's a boy, Potter!" Moody said. "Have them follow you."

Tonks rounded on Mad-Eye. "What the hell was that?"

Ron, Ginny, Arthur, and Lupin snorted with amusement. Molly and Hermione looked scandalized at her language.

"What was what, lass?" Moody asked, trying to look innocent.

"You were dying to hex Harry's uncle into next week, so you were egged him on! I trained with you everyday for three years, so I know you well. Don't deny it!"

"You starting to sound like your mother, Nymphadora." He smirked as she flinched at her given name.

"Heaven forbid that should ever happen! Goodbye, everyone. We'll see you soon." Making a face at Moody, she pivoted on her heel and headed towards the station entrance.

"Goodbye." Lupin said quietly. He nodded then turned to follow Tonks.

Neither heard Molly whisper to Arthur, "I wonder what's going on with those two…finally."

Arthur Weasley smiled down fondly at his wife, "We'll have to wait and see, dear."

TBC


	5. Two Hearts Broken

Intimate Confessions

Gijane

Disclaimer, Rating, Summary: See Chapter One

Chapter Notes: Warming: Remus breaks it off with Dora at the end of this chapter. Major tearjerker! Review of what happens during the break between 'OotP' and 'HBP'. We know something big had to happen between Remus and Dora for both of them to be a mess during 'HBP'. The story earns its 'M' rating in this chapter. They are such a parallel to Harry and Ginny's relationship.

Thank you all for your emails! Here's the chapter!

Thanks to Godricgal for beta'ing!

Part Two: 'The Half-Blood Prince'

Chapter Five- Two Hearts Broken

Tonks spent the next week and a half dedicated to recovery and relaxation. It had been decided that tomorrow she would return to work. She also spent this time getting to know her other half, Remus Lupin, better. They had known each other for over a year, but Tonks was discovering there was a lot more to the man than met the eye and Lupin was discovering that there was a very serious witch underneath the bubblegum pink hair and wild Muggle clothes. He had moved her into one of the guest bedrooms after their return from London. Lupin was still insisting on a proper courtship (much to Tonks' annoyance), but as the week had progressed it had become harder and harder to say good night to one another and go to their separate rooms. It had been a week where dreams had been fulfilled. Then Reality had set in last night.

Her co-Auror, Kingsley Shacklebolt, has stopped by a last night to brief her on the changes at the Ministry of Magic and in the Wizarding world because Lupin did not get _The Daily Prophet_ delivered so they had been effectively cut off from everything all week.

The Wizarding world had screamed for Cornelius Fudge's resignation. He got the sack as Minister and was replaced, as Lupin's rumour had it, by the head of the Auror Department, Rufus Scrimgeour. Fudge was also facing an inquiry into the battle at the Ministry and the murder of Tonks' now proclaimed innocent cousin, Sirius Black.

Shacklebolt had been assigned to guard the Muggle Prime Minister. Tonks was being assigned as part of the team guarding Hogsmeade, the all wizarding village outside of Hogwarts.

In sad news, Amelia Bones, the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, and Emmeline Vance, a member of the Order of the Phoenix, were both found murdered in their homes. The Death Eaters were making their presence known with support from the dementors (who were breeding) and the giants.

"In other words, Kingsley, the whole bloody world's falling apart!" Tonks concluded angrily. Lupin sighed at her pronouncement, knowing she was right.

"Exactly, Tonks. Both Fudge and Scrimgeour are trying to get to Harry Potter, you know 'The Chosen One'."

"'The Chosen One'? Oh God, the poor kid. I thought 'The Boy Who Lived' was bad. Why 'The Chosen One'?" Tonks asked.

"_The Prophet_'s found out about the battle at The Ministry and has been speculating about the contents of the prophesy."

"And how did thebloody_ Daily Prophet_ find out?" Lupin growled.

"Who knows! There's an inquiry into that as well. Anyway, both Ministers have been trying to get to him so that he can voice his support for the Ministry. However, Dumbledore won't allow him access to Harry. He says that Harry is to stay at his aunt and uncle's house for a bit longer."

"I though Sirius said he would leave Harry's guardianship to you, Remus." Tonks asked

"Legally, Harry's guardians are his Muggle relations. Sirius said he would leave his role of godfather to me. We just have to wait until his will is verified. Meanwhile, I told Dumbledore that he had permission to deal with the Ministry when it came to Harry. Besides, they won't listen to a werewolf no matter what. They'd probably take him away if they even knew. Harry doesn't know either. It's best for him."

Both Shacklebolt and Tonks made protests of anger, but both understood Lupin's point.

"It's been a rough week for all." Shacklebolt said standing to leave. "We are going to need to band together or we are going to lose this war. Now, I'm off to my nice, new Muggle apartment. Thank you for your hospitality, Remus. I shall see you both around."

Tonks and Lupin escorted him to the Manor's apparition point. After he had said good night and Disapparated, Tonks turned to Lupin. He silently opened his arms and she went to him. He held her as she cried.

After she calmed down, they went back inside where Katrina, Lupin's house elf, fussed over them. After serving dinner, she went to her quarters, leaving her Master alone with his love.

"Some chaperone she is." Tonks joked, in a much better mood now, as they set up the chessboard. She turned out to be, much to Lupin's surprise, a very serious and very able player. She had innocently suggested that they play a game the night that they had came back from London. He found himself locked in a fierce chess battle three hours later neither would give.

"You're complaining about that she left us alone? I'm up a couple of games, correct?" He smiled at her.

"There is absolutely no way I'd complain about that. I'd swear, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that my mother ordered her to leave us alone at all possible times." Lupin laughed. "Mum's proud I made it through Auror Training and Qualifications, however, according to her, all witches are to be happily married with children. In your dreams you are, I'm up five games, darling."

"Five? Damnit, you cheated on the last two games by wearing a low-cut shirt. Andromeda will get her way soon. Are we going to…?"

"Not my fault you couldn't keep your concentration." She smirked at him, making the opening move. "If you want some." All their serious conversations about the future went along these lines.

"I'd like to see you play Ron Weasley. He'd wipe the floor with you. I'd like a couple."

"Did he really make it past McGonagall's transfigured chessboard to help Harry save the Philosopher's Stone from Voldemort in his first year?"

"Yes, he did." Tonks whistled her admiration. "He injured himself badly in the process. Have you told your parents about us yet?" He asked with a countermove.

"The poor kid's been messed up something rotten several times since he met Harry, huh? Yes, I owled them the other day. She's thrilled since she remembers you from school. Dad kind of does."

"I was an eleven year old first year! Do they know about…?"

"You being a werewolf? Yep, said it made sense. While they acknowledge it, it's not a major issue. Mum always knew you were a very sickly child at school and there had to be something to it. She remembers that you were always very polite to her. Mum might have been your Head Girl, but she was also a Slytherin. You know we Gryffindors don't get alone with Slytherins well." Lupin snorted with laugher. "However, since Dumbledore trusts you, she trusts you with me. More important to her is that Sirius trusted you. You were on of his best mates, and he, while he thought it was funny, was still head of the Black family. Finally, you make me happy, and that's all she and Dad really care about. Checkmate, darling."

"How!" He looked down at the board in surprise. "I was chess champion in my day, you know."

"So was I." She smirked.

"Forgot to mention that, did you?"

"So did you! What are you going to do about it?" Her voice was laced with innuendo.

"Let me show you." Lupin knocked the chessboard out of his way. Taking her by surprise, he pinned her to the couch before she could react, he captured her mouth in a searing kiss.

Tonks groaned with pleasure as she returned his kiss. Her groans turned to gasps as he fingered the neckline of her shirt.

Throwing her head back, she allowed him better access; he growled his pleasure and ripped her shirt in half, exposing her chest.

"That was my favourite t-shirt. Did you have to rip it?"

"I'll buy you another one." He muttered. "Do your knickers match?" He grunted as she kissed him.

"Only one way to find out." She teased.

He went for her jeans zip but paused as she spoke again.

"I use to fantasize about some things about you during Order meetings."

"What would they be?" He asked.

She grinned, pulling his jumper up over his head. Tossing it aside, she yelled, "I knew it! You're an undershirt man." She pulled it off and it joined his jumper on the floor.

He threw his head back and laughed. "I was thinking boxers or briefs." He moaned as she traced the scars on his chest with her tongue.

"Oh, that too. Especially when Snivy would start blabbering on about how wonderful he was. Stupid git!" He laughed at her nickname for Severus Snape." I'd go all glassy eyed and ignore him, fantasying about what you were wearing underneath your clothes." She traced a light scar on his chest.

"You know what I use to fantasize about you then?" He asked, running his hands through her silky hair.

"What?" She moaned as he kissed his way up to her ear.

"Whether you wore cotton or lace knickers." He whispered into her ear. "And did you have matching sets? Would you be a good girl or a naughty girl in bed?"

Tonks waved her hand at her pink lace bra, her dark eyes sparkling. "Lace, obliviously. I'm a naughty girl, you should have know that already, but, I still don't know whether it's the boxers or the briefs."

"Only one way to find out." He repeated her words back to her.

"Are you sure about this? You keep going on about a proper courtship." This was the furthest they had ever taken it.

His response was to unzip her jeans. "You do match!" He unhooked her bra.

She laughed at the pleasure in his voice. "Glad I could make you happy." She unzipped his trousers. "Oh, boxers, very nice, very impressive as well, darling." He kissed her again, very passionately. She returned his passion.

They were locked in that position for quite a while. Their heads whipped apart as a loud knock resounded from the front door.

"What the hell!" Tonks shouted, coming out of her passion induced stupor.

"Who could that be at this time of night?" Lupin asked sounding equally frustrated. "I have to answer that, you need to get dressed." He told her pulling his jumper over his head and carefully zipping up his trousers.

"How? You ripped my shirt in half." She asked, shaking her torn shirt at him. She fell off the couch trying to zip her jeans

"I'm sorry, love. I really wanted to…" He told her as he picked her up. He kissed her hard. "Go upstairs. I'll handle this."

"Like hell you will. I'm the trained professional." She returned his kiss. "Give me your undershirt, and then go get the door." He quickly and silently complied.

"Where's my bra?" She hissed at him.

"I don't know." He hissed back. "We'll find it later."

She pulled on his undershirt and joined him at the door, wand at the ready.

Lupin opened the door wandlessly. As he recognized the form on his front doorstep, he asked, "Headmaster?"

"Ah, good evening, Remus. Yes, it is I." Albus Dumbledore said as he entered. "And Nymphadora, how are you feeling?" He asked Tonks as she pocketed her wand.

"Much better, Professor." She replied, hoping that the Headmaster would not notice that she was not wearing a bra, Lupin's undershirt, her mouth swollen with his kisses, and that her hair was a tumbled mess. However, she knew that Dumbledore never missed anything.

"Ah, excellent, excellent. I'm pleased to hear that. I've told you both several times to call by my given name." Dumbledore said pleasantly.

"Sorry, sir." They muttered both feeling like schoolchildren again.

"On to business. Why have I have called this late at night? I wish to speak to Remus." The Headmaster suddenly looked very serious. "Alone, Miss Tonks."

Her eyes widened but she answered, "Of course, Head…Albus. I'll go upstairs to my room. Good night, sir, Remus." Tonks turned and headed upstairs.

She caught Lupin's eye as she he followed Dumbledore into the living room. For a brief second, they head each other's gazes. Lupin broke the contact and turned away.

Tonks knew in that moment she that she had lost him. With a heavy heart, she continued upstairs to her room. She knocked on Katrina's door and informed the house elf that her Master had company. Upon reaching her room, Tonks threw herself on the bed and began to cry.

An hour and a half later, Lupin knocked on Tonks' door. When he got no response, he cracked open the door and peered in. By the moonlight, he could see that she was asleep.

Entering her room, he noted that she was still fully dressed in his undershirt and her jeans. As he got closer, he could see the tear marks streaked down her pale cheeks. He knew that he was the cause of her tears and it killed him. He frowned at her mousy brown hair, in all the time that he had known her, he had never seen it that colourless drab colour. He sat down on the opposite side of the bed, he smoothed her hair down then sighed, realizing what it symbolized.

Standing back up he picked up her blanket which was folded on top of the truck at the end of the bed. He laid down beside her and he covered them both. Exhausted both physically and mentally, he soon fell asleep.

Tonks stirred early the next morning. She sat up in bed and quickly realized that she was not alone. Lupin was asleep beside her.

He woke as he felt her gaze on him. Opening his amber eyes, they met her dark ones.

"Morning." She said quietly.

"Good morning, Nymphadora." He responded.

"Can you tell me why the Headmaster called last night?" She noted that he had not called her 'love', as he had been for the past week, but her given name.

"He wants me to go underground." He told her.

"With the werewolves?"

"Yes."

"To spy." Tonks said disgusted.

"Exactly. Almost all of the werewolves are going to Voldemort's side, he's promising us all sorts of freedoms that the Ministry denies us."

"Them, Remus, not us! You are nothing like them! How could Dumbledore even suggest that you of all people do this! Why!" Tonks bounded off the bed in anger.

"He wants to try, Nymphadora." She twitched at her given name. "I'm a readymade spy. With Hagrid and the giants, he almost succeeded. He has to try with the werewolves." He stood up as well.

"What the hell's going on with my hair?" She shrieked, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She tried to morph it, but failed. She winced at the pain.

"Are you okay?" He asked with worry, remembering that she she had experienced pain when she morphed earlier in the week. She had spent the remainder of the week in her natural state, morphing only when Shacklebolt came calling.

"I'm fine." Tonks lied knowing that she had lost control of her ability. "But why!" She asked him, still shrieking.

Lupin was alarmed. He had never seen her so emotional before. "Greyback's out there, marshalling the werewolves for Voldemort, I have to see if I can convince any of them to come onto our side."

"Is this personal then? He is the one that bit you."

"No." He responded, knowing it was partially a lie. She knew that he was lying, but did not comment.

"They know that you've been living as a wizard. They're not going to listen to you especially with you offering them nothing. Voldemort is promising all that the Ministry is denying them. Of course they'll side with him, not that I blame them either." She told him.

"I have to try, Nymphadora." There was her given name again.

"And what about us?" she asked quietly.

Lupin raised his eyes to her hers. He didn't have to say a word. Like last night, it was all in his gaze. Tonks began to cry softly.

"I'm sorry." He whispered hoarsely. "I have to do this. Forget about me, about us. Find someone young and whole, who will love and take care of you."

"I'm sorry too, Remus, for what you're going to have to go through, it's going to be everything that you hate, I can take care of myself." She placed a small hand on his cheek and caressed a scar there. "Please, be as safe as you can and hold on to the fact that I love you. Goodbye, darling."

With those words, Tonks turned on her heel, grabbed her rucksack, and left him standing in the middle of the room. Lupin heard the sound of her Disapparation a few moments later.

When Katrina looked in on her Master a while later, there were still tears streaming down his face. He knew he was the cause of both his and his love's heartbreak.

TBC


	6. Motherly Love

Intimate Confessions

Gijane

Disclaimer, Rating, Summary: See Chapter One

Chapter Notes: Dora's scene in Chapter Five of _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_ (American hardback ed, pgs 81-82). All text in _italics_ is direct from the book. My take on what happened just before Harry and Dumbledore arrived. The way Molly acted around Remus the whole book, I'm pretty sure Dora told her what happened between them. Why could everyone but Dumbledore and Lupin see the futility of Remus's mission?

Welcome to the Review Club Lupinfangirl! Thanks to Godricgal for sub beta-ing again!

Chapter Six – Motherly Love

Molly Weasley looked up from her Christmas knitting as three knocks sounded at her back door. She was waiting up for her husband, Arthur, to come home from work at the Ministry of Magic. Three knocks meant an Order of the Phoenix member was calling.

She cautiously went into the kitchen. Peeking out the kitchen window, she called out nervously, "Who's there? Declare yourself!"

"It's me, Molly, Tonks." Molly's stomach immediately clenched in anguish as she though of Arthur and her two sons who were members of the Order along with Tonks.

"Everyone's fine." Tonks called out, knowing what Molly was thinking.

Molly let out the breath she had been holding. Tightening the belt of her old green dressing gown, she opened the door to admit the young Auror. She let out a gasp as the kitchen light spilled out onto the porch.

She had been expecting a bright-eyed, pink haired, cheerful Nymphadora Tonks. She barely recognized the witch on her doorstep. She had drab mousy brown hair and her normally pale heart shaped face was chalk-white. However, what disturbed Molly most of all were Tonks' dark eyes. Instead of sparking (usually with mischief), they were dull, no light to them at all.

"Wotcher, Molly." She said listlessly, forcing a smile. "Everyone's okay. I just needed to…to…"

Molly opened her arms and Tonks rushed into the motherly embrace. She burst out into hysterical crying.

Molly managed to get her into the house, through the kitchen, and into the living room. Banishing her knitting, she sat Tonks on the couch. Taking her place beside her, she reopened her arms and held her again.

She knew it was best to let Tonks cry it out. Halfway through, Ginny, the youngest and only Weasley daughter stuck her head into the living room. She took one look at hysterical Tonks and a look of horror crossed her face. Her mother shook her negativity, assuring her child that her Order family members were okay. Molly silently shooed Ginny away. She left, extremely worried about her friend.

Tonks' tears finally subsided. Molly took her face in her hands and gently asked, "Tea, dear?"

"Okay." Tonks answered in a little girl voice, willing to be mothered. She wished she had a five year olds nonexistent problems.

"Come into the kitchen." Molly stood Tonks, quickly steadying her. She guided her into the kitchen.

"Take off your cloak and just toss it on the bench, dear."

"I must really be a mess if I don't have to hang it up." Tonks' joke fell flat.

Molly, at the sink filling the teakettle, closed her eyes to stop the tears that formed. Tonks always had her laughing (or trying hard not to laugh), whether it was appropriate or not.

Clearing her throat, she asked, "Didn't you return to work today? Arthur said you were. He's still there now."

"Yeah, I did. I'm part of the Hogsmeade team. I only lasted a few hours though. When Scrimgeour, I mean the Minister, visited today, he took one look at me and sent me home. Sad thing is his quietly offered his condolences for Sirius to me."

"Dear, it's practically midnight. Where did you go?" Molly wondered if part of Tonks' state was due to her cousin. She knew that Tonks had spent the week at Lupin Manor with Remus Lupin, Sirius' best friend. Surly he had condoled her. Molly closed her eyes as another thought came to mind.

"Well, I Apparated back and wandered around Muggle London a bit. Then I went to see Mum and Dad."

"How are they, dear?" Molly asked politely.

"Fine. I'll tell them you said hello next time I drop by."

"Please do, thank you. Where did you go next?"

"After I played with my dinner, I left 'cause Mum started asking Twenty Questions. So, I went to my flat and took a nap. I woke up, then couldn't go back to sleep. I decided that I needed to talk, so I came here. I can't talk to Mum about this. Is it okay that I came here?" Tonks looked at her with fresh tears in her eyes

"Of course! Oh, Tonks dear, tell me what happened."

"Promise you won't get mad?"

"About what? You spending the week alone with Remus at Lupin Manor with just a house elf for a chaperone? No, dear, I won't lecture right now. Tell me what happened."

"We admitted our feelings to each other."

Molly beamed. "Finally!"

Tonks managed a weak smile. "Yes, I suppose that everyone else but us realized what was going on."

"Just about, dear. It's okay. We found the two of you so clueless about each others feeling completely endearing." Molly went to the teakettle as it began to whistle. "Dumbledore especially. You know he loves the notion of love."

"Oh God, even the Headmaster knew? We both knew, we just never said anything."

"Yes, even the Headmaster knew." Molly bit back a smile as Tonks sighed and dropped her head on the table.

Placing a large mug of tea in front of Tonks, she sat back down at the table and waited for the younger woman to continue. After a moment of silence, she prompted her, "You left St Mungos for Lupin Manor."

"Did you know Remus owned the Manor?" Tonks asked suddenly. "I had no idea. He has a house elf as well."

"I knew about the Manor. Siri-it was mentioned one night." Molly finished a bit flustered.

"Sirius. You can talk about him in front of me, Molly. Remus and I went through our grief together."

"Well, yes, Sirius mentioned it one night. Remus didn't even blink. In fact, he started teasing Sirius about how his family could rival the Blacks. However, his family wasn't pureblood crazy. That really annoyed Sirius. Remus might not say much, but when he does it's meaningful."

Tonks smiled slightly. "Very true." Lupin had called her 'love' all week, something he wouldn't do unless he meant it.

"So after you left King's Cross, you went back to the Manor."

"Oh, Molly, it was wonderful!" Tonks sighed at her memories. "The Manor's in the Cotswolds, such beautiful countryside! Especially for this London girl. We would spend hours sitting outside just talking. Or reading to each other. I challenged him to chess. He lost horribly."

Molly laughed. "Don't try to tell me he took on an Auror in a game of strategy."

"Thought since he was chess champ, poor little pink haired me didn't stand a chance. He was wrong." Tonks rushed on before Molly could ask about her hair. "He taught me all about the Manor. All the stories, all the history. It such a beautiful house! He has a family tree just like the Blacks, but his is folded away in the trunk at the foot of the master bed. It was amazing to learn it all. I wish he could go back teaching. It's his calling."

"All my children say that Professor Lupin was the only decent Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher they had, including Percy." Molly's voice trembled at the mention of her third son.

"Don't worry. Percy'll come round sooner or later. I can see him sitting in his office admitting his parents were correct, but to stubborn to come home."

Molly brightened a bit. "You really think that?"

"Absolutely! It was so hard last year not conking him on the head whenever we passed in the hallways. He'll be back."

"So, you learned all the history of Remus' family? Is there a reason for that?" Molly asked, knowing what it meant when a wizard taught a witch his family history.

"We were courting and it was going to be a very short courtship." A lone tear slid down Tonks' cheek and dripped into her tea. "Molly? Are you okay?"

Molly was furious. "What happened?"

"Last night, well, let's just say we got hot and heavy and would have…if Dumbledore hadn't come calling."

"What did the Headmaster want?"

Tonks drew a breath. "I suppose I can tell you since you're an Order member as well. Remus is going underground with his _fellow_-"she said the word with such contempt that Molly raised an eyebrow, _"_werewolves to spy. To try to turn some to our side. It'll never happen. Voldemort's promising them all that the _stupid _Ministry denies them. If I was a werewolf, what I would choose? The Ministry screwed up with the dementors, they screwed up the giants, and now they're going to screw up the werewolves. You'd think they'd learn after a while. And Remus…poor Remus, is stuck in the middle of it all."

"Dumbledore sent Remus to live with the werewolves? Oh, he's going to hate it! He'll never fit in, he's lived as a wizard for too long. Oh dear!" Molly was flustered.

"I thought I was okay with Sirius. Well, as okay as I could be. Now I'm a mess over Remus. I can't even morph! This…"she fingered a lock of mousy brown hair in disgust, "happens when I'm depressed. Last time it was this colour, my Dad's mum had just passed. I loved her. I use to entertain Grandmother by morphing constantly and she would show me how to use all her Muggle gadgets." Tonks giggled at some memories that surfaced. "Arthur would have loved her. She was absolutely fascinated with the Wizarding world."

"Oh, dear, I'm so very sorry. Next time I see Remus I'm going to give him a piece of my mind!"

"No, please don't Molly! I've thought about it. I can see why he wants to do this. I love him, so I have to let him try. I know he loves me, so I'm just going to wait. It's going to kill me, but I will. Until I hear otherwise, I wait."

"Oh, okay dear." Molly didn't look convinced. She wanted to roast Lupin for what he had done to Tonks.

Both women looked up as three knocks resounded from the back door again. Tonks stood up, drawing her wand, as Molly went to the kitchen window.

"Are you expecting anyone? "Tonks hissed. "Another Order member?"

"No. Albus isn't dropping Harry off until the morning. _Who's there?" _Molly called in a nervous voice. _"Declare yourself!"_

_"It is I, Dumbledore, bringing Harry." _Came the Headmaster's voice. Tonks pocketed her wand and resumed her seat.

Molly opened the door at once. _"Harry, dear! Gracious, Albus, you gave me a fright, you said not to expect you before morning."_

"_We were lucky," said Dumbledore, ushering Harry over the threshold. "Slughorn proved much more persuadable than I had expected. Harry's doing of course. Ah, hello, Nymphadora!"_

Tonks watched as Harry turned around, realizing that Molly was not alone. _"Hello, Professor. Wotcher, Harry." _She said forcing a smile. The last person she wanted to see tonight was Albus Dumbledore.

"_Hi, Tonks." _Poor Harry looked shocked at her appearance.

"_I'd better be off," she said quickly. _She stood up and pulled her cloak on. _"Thanks for the tea and the sympathy, Molly." _

Molly looked torn. She had Dumbledore and Harry now, but still wanted to talk to Tonks.

Dumbledore must have sensed this. _"Please don't leave on my account. I cannot stay. I have an urgent matter to discuss with Rufus Scrimgeour."_

"_No, no, I need to get going." _Tonks felt Dumbledore's eyes on her, but she refused to meet them. She couldn't, not right now. It was too soon. _"'Night-"_

"_Dear, why don't you come to dinner at the weekend, Remus," _Molly emphasised his name, _"and Mad-Eye are coming-?" _

"_No, really, Molly…thanks anyway…Good night, everyone."_ Tonks risked a glance at Molly as she headed out. Molly looked extremely troubled.

_Tonks hurried past Dumbledore and Harry into the yard; a few paces beyond the doorstep, she turned on the spot and vanished into thin air_.


	7. Birthday Greetings

Intimate Confessions

Gijane

Disclaimer, Rating, Summary: See Chapter One

Chapter Notes: Remus' scene in Chapter Six of _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_ (American hardback ed, pgs 105-106). All text in _italics_ is direct quote from the book. Remus recognizes Dora as his mate, so I figure they have a special bond as mates. The bath scene is for all the fangirls. Remus and Dora meet for the first time after breaking up. We all contributed to Harry's gift. It was greta2242's idea, but siriusgirl thought to enchant it. I added the doe and made it pewter. I'm guessing on the exchange rate. Harry's wand cost 7 Gallons (_PS/SS_), but his _Advanced Potion Making_ text cost 9 Gallons (_HBP_). I know that textbooks are expensive…buy I'm going with the inflation theory. I'm sure both Harry and Lupin want more from their current relationship, but both are unsure how to proceed.

I have no idea why, but this chapter was really hard to write. It's not the greatest, but it will do.

I took both chapters down and reposted them. I have no idea what happened!

Chapter Seven– Birthday Greetings

Fenrir Greyback prowled among his sleeping pack during the early dawn. Last night had been the full moon. His attention was drawn to one of the group moving away from the others, slowly and quietly. Greyback's eyes narrowed in disgust as he recognized the werewolf. Remus Lupin.

Greyback himself had bit Lupin when he was very young, in revenge for his father's insult. He had wanted Remus in repayment. Unfortunately, for Greyback, John Lupin proved to have more of a backbone then he imagined. Instead of abandoning his son, as many parents did, John kept Remus and from what Greyback had heard, searched until the day he died for a cure to his son's lycanthropy.

Lupin had been raised among wizards and the other werewolves could smell the magic off him. Because he was suddenly, after all this time, interested in living with his own kind, Greyback, as the alpha, was very suspicious of him. He silently followed Lupin to a clearing. Hiding in the trees, his lip curled as he watched as Lupin Disapparated.

He reappeared in the gardens of his ancestral home, Lupin Manor. It had been two long weeks since he had gone underground. He was pleased to be home. He knew things were not progressing well with Greyback and the pack. Sighing, he stretched, exhausted from last night's brutal transformation. It had been his first without Wolfsbane Potion in over a year and his body was screaming in pain.

Today he had left only because it was Harry Potter's sixteenth birthday. Sirius had willed his role as godfather to Lupin. He was going to fill that roll as best he could without Harry knowing. He groaned as he entered his kitchen. He remembered the day Harry had been born. Lupin groaned again realizing that he could have a child Harry's age. Where had the time gone?

"Master!" Squeaked a high-pitched voice. "Master had returned?"

He turned around as his house elf, Katrina, threw herself at him. "Hello, Katrina." He said, returning her embrace. "I'm back just for today. I have to go to Diagon Alley, and then to the Burrow. Then I go back to the pack."

Katrina harrumphed then turned to the ovens to prepare some food. She knew Lupin would be hungry. He would be exhausted as well from his transformation.

He raised an eyebrow, wondering why she didn't comment. "Today is Harry's sixteenth birthday." He offered in way of initiating a conversation. He hadn't spoken to anyone in two weeks. None of the others would talk to him, probably acting on Greyback's orders.

"Very nice, Master." She answered him shortly.

"What should I get him? I have my monthly stipend from my Potion left since I didn't use it this month. Something small?"

"Master Harry will love whatever you give him…sir." Lupin knew she wouldn't have added the last bit if her magic had allowed her not to. "Please convey Katrina's felicitations to Master Harry…sir."

Lupin bit back a smile. It was annoying Katrina that her magic would not allow her to be completely angry with him. However, the house elf was finding loopholes. He eyed in runny eggs in disgust, but ate them anyways. "I hope so, Katrina. I'm going to draw a bath after I eat. Then I'm going to take a quick nap. Mrs Weasley's not expecting me until three this afternoon."

"Master will eat. Katrina will draw the bath. Master Harry would like something that reminded him of his parents."

He allowed himself to smile as the house elf huffed out of the kitchen. He had seen exactly what he was going to get Harry a few weeks earlier in a small shop on a side street off Diagon Alley.

Lupin groaned in part pain, part pleasure, as he sank himself into his bath finally. When he had tested the water, it had been scalding hot, thanks to his impertinent house elf. While waiting for the water to cool, he reflected on the previous night. He had managed to avoid the grown werewolves, watching on the sideline with the younglings, as a newcomer, rather than participate in the adult sport. He knew Greyback was only going to allow him that one time. Next moon, he would be expected to join the adults. However, that was four weeks from now, he preferred not to think about it yet.

"Master?" Katrina squeaked through the closed door.

"Yes, Katrina." He asked.

"What should Katrina do with Miss' undergarment and shirt? Katrina found them while cleaning last week."

Lupin's stomach dropped at his house elf's mention of Nymphadora Tonks. She was the woman he loved and he had hurt her terribly. He bent his head in sorrow as he remembered her last words to him, "Please be safe and hold on to the fact that I love you. I'll be here waiting for you." He had not told her he loved her back. He remembered her last night. He knew that was what had kept him almost sane during the transformation.

"Master?" Katrina called again.

"I'll be out shortly. Leave them on the bed, please. Also, wake me at one, please."

"Yes, Master." Lupin could hear the near resentment in the house elf's voice. Not that he blamed her. He had promised her a Mistress and then had driven the promised Mistress away.

He soaked for a bit more, grateful for the bath. It was hard on him living underground. Finally stifling another yawn, he got out of the bath and wrapped a towel around his hips. He padded out to his bedroom and froze.

There on the bed, just where he told Katrina to leave them, were Tonks' pink lace bra and torn t-shirt. He crept over to the bed and finally picked them up. He cautiously sniffed the bra, and then smiled. Even after two weeks, it retained her scent, a combination of vanilla and soap.

Sighing, he quickly changed into pyjama bottoms. Still holding Tonks's bra, he fell asleep.

He slowly woke six hours later. Katrina was pounding on his door. He grunted a response.

"Master!" She squeaked. "It is one o'clock, time to wake. Master!"

"I'm awake, Katrina." He grunted.

"Master needs to get up and go to Diagon Alley for Master Harry's present. Master is due at the Burrow at three. Get up, Master."

Lupin groaned. The one bad thing about having a servant that had raised you from childhood is that she knew him so well. All he wanted to do was crawl back under his blankets and sleep. However, his house elf was correct, time to get going for the day.

He got out of bed and opened the door to revel Katrina, who was hovering his clothing with her magic. He shuttered to see they were ironed but the pants were red, his jumper was orange, and his robes brown. His house elf was extracting revenge on him the only way her magic allowed.

"Very nice colour combination, Katrina. " He smiled as she blushed.

"Master must hurry. Katrina will be downstairs." She Disapparated with a loud crack. Twenty minutes later, Lupin walked into his kitchen. Quickly eating the mess that Katrina had laid out for him, he bid the house elf goodbye and exited the Manor. Upon arriving at the Apparition Point, he Disapparated.

First person he saw as he reappeared at the Leaky Cauldron was Tonks. She was lunching with a few other Aurors, including Kingsley Shacklebolt, who looked relieved to be back in the Wizarding world.

Lupin had hoped to avoid her, but as he exited the rear of the building, she caught up with him.

"Lupin!" She called, shoving the rear door open. "Wait! We need to talk!"

Bracing himself, he turned around. He just managed not to gasp in surprise at how drawn, pale, and thin she looked. Forcing a fake smile he asked, "How may I help you, Tonks?"

"Tonks? Since when are we back to that?" She asked puzzled. "It was this side of a fortnight ago that your tongue was halfway down my throat."

Lupin had the good grace to blush. "Very true, Nymphadora. How may I help you?"

"So formal, Remus? I just wanted to see how you are. We might not be courting anymore, but you still are a friend. And a fellow Order member. How'd your first full moon go with the pack?"

"As well as expected. They don't trust me. Probably never will."

"So you're not going to continue?" Tonks' hopeful face fell as Lupin nodded affirmatively.

"Yes, I am. I'm hoping to get to the children. So far, Greyback has kept me away from them while we are in human form. He knows what I am up to."

"So," She hissed. "You're still willing to risk your life knowing that Greyback knows what you're doing? What about the people who love you, Remus!"

"This is not about us, is it?" He asked in a hard voice. He was exhausted and couldn't take an emotional fight with the woman he loved.

"I'm not the only one who loves you, Lupin!" She shouted, losing her temper. "The Weasleys all love you. So do all the other Order members! And Harry, what about him? How do you think he'll feel if he lost you?"

"To Harry I'm just his professor." Lupin told her.

"That's ridiculous! To Harry, you are the last link to his past. A connection to his parents! And you're his godfather, not that he knows that!" She drew a breath in then continued, "And as for us, I told you I'd wait for you! I was told by a highly reliable source that you're worth waiting for."

"Damn Sirius!" He growled, instinctively knowing her 'source'.

"Yes, Sirius! At least he saw your worth! I can see it as well. None of this 'too poor, too old, too dangerous' stuff either! You're worth fighting for, Remus."

His heart swelled. She hadn't given up on him even though he had broken her heart. Drawing in a quick breath he told her, "You deserve a young whole wizard who can support you. I'm just a poor, broken down, old werewolf who barely survives month to month."

She shook her head at him. He would never change his tune. Nevertheless, she wasn't giving up on him. They might have ended their romantic relationship, but she still cared for him. Some day he would understand. "I'm furious with you, Remus, but for some reason I understand why you want to do this." She placed a small hand on his cheek, smiling to herself as she felt the muscle twitch as he tried not to respond. Encouraged, she removed her hand and leaned up to place a small peck on his cheek.

Lupin had the same idea at the same time. Their lips brushed accidentally. Immediately their mouths fused in a blazing kiss. After several minutes, they both needed to breath.

"That was nice, darling." Tonks murmured. Lupin grunted his agreement, still stunned over the passion between them. "Now, off to whatever you were doing. I have to get back to the others. I can't stop by the Burrow until late tonight, if at all. Give Harry birthday greetings for me, would you please."

"I will." He took a deep breath, inhaling her scent.

"Be safe! I don't like what you're doing, but I'll support you. Please, be safe. I couldn't stand it if I lost you as well. Look at me! I'm a mess!"

"You are." Lupin fingered at stand of mousy brown hair.

Tonks glared at him. "Nice, Remus! Real romantic."

Blushing Lupin asked hopefully, "Pink?"

Scrunching up her eyes, Tonks winced and nothing happened. "I haven't been able to morph since that night. I've been too emotional. You, Sirius, the kids, work, the war, it's all weighing on me. Now, go! Be safe." Taping the proper brick with her wand, she opened the archway for him. She turned, pecked him on the cheek, and then ran back into the pub.

Blinking himself back into reality, Lupin entered the long cobblestone street that was Diagon Alley. Quickly making his way towards the trinket shop where he had seen Harry's birthday present. As he turned the corner onto the smaller street where the shop was located, he practically ran into Augusta and Neville Longbottom.

"Professor Lupin!" Neville said enthusiastically. "How are you, sir?"

"Hello, Neville." He returned just as enthusiastically. "Mrs Longbottom." Lupin nodded politely to Neville's grandmother.

"Professor." She nodded back. "What brings you to Diagon Alley today?"

"Picking up a small birthday present. And you?"

"Oh, we were just doing some shopping."

"Gran got me a new wand." Neville beamed holding up an Ollivander's sack. "Cherry and unicorn hair."

"Ah." Lupin smiled. "To replace the one you broke at the Ministry."

"Oh, you were there that night, Professor?" Mrs Longbottom asked innocently, knowing perfectly well that he had been. Augusta turned around and, slipping her arm into the crook of Lupin's arm, began to escort him towards the trinket shop.

Neville rolled his eyes heavenward at his grandmother's blatant attempt to glean information out of his former teacher. He blushed slightly as Lupin caught his eye and grinned.

"Yes, ma'am, I was there. And I must say, your grandson showed incredible strength and nerve that night. He made his parents very proud." Lupin smiled as Augusta beamed. He cocked an eyebrow in question at the look of terror on Neville's face.

"Please don't make me go back in there." Neville whispered to Lupin. "She spends hours in there, it's horrible."

"I'll make it quick, I promise." Lupin whispered back.

The shopkeeper looked up as the bell over the door tinkled. She smiled as she recognized Augusta. "Back again, Mrs Longbottom?"

"Just escorting dear Professor Lupin in." She glanced at Neville who had turned a snort into a cough. "He wishes to purchase a birthday present."

The shopkeeper's eyes narrowed in on Lupin, recognizing his name. "Do you have any idea what can I help you with…sir." She asked in an icy tone.

Mrs Longbottom looked in dismay at the shopkeeper. "Is there a problem?" She asked, in a tone just as icy. "I can always take my business elsewhere."

Neville's jaw dropped.

"Please, Mrs Long-"Lupin began to protest, but fell silent at a glare from Augusta.

"The man risks his life-"Augusta snapped her mouth shut, realizing what she was about to revel. Instead, she asked again, "Is there a problem?"

"Oh, there is nothing wrong, Mrs Longbottom." The shopkeeper said a perfectly cordial tone. Turning to Lupin, she asked, "You are looking for a birthday present,"

"Professor." Augusta reminded the shopkeeper of Lupin's title.

"Yes, of course. Professor, I believe you taught my niece the year you were at Hogwarts. Pansy Parkinson, Slytherin House."

"Yes, I did. Smart girl." He told her with a straight face. Neville snorted with laughter. Ignoring him, Lupin continued, "I know precisely what I will purchase." Walking over to the display in the window, he picked up a pewter stag and doe figurine. Both figures pranced around on their base. Then the doe would nuzzle up to the stag, who would return the affection. Lupin smiled faintly at it. "This." He handed the figurine to the shopkeeper.

"Very nice, Professor. Who is it for?" She asked as she began to wrap and box it.

"My godson." Lupin could tell that she wanted more information, but he wasn't going to give it out.

"Ah, yes. That will be 4 Gallons."

Smiling slightly, Lupin paid the shopkeeper and quickly left, Neville and Augusta in his wake.

As soon as the door tinkled close, Augusta began to harp. "Of all the nerve. I shall never frequent her establishment again. Goodbye, Professor, and thank you for helping my grandson."

"You're quite welcome. And thank you." Lupin bowed to both Longbottoms. He watched as they walked away. After completing a few more errands, he Disapparated to the Burrow.

He reappeared practically instantaneously at the Weasley family home. He was immediately besieged by several teenagers, including his godson, Harry.

"Hello, Professor." Harry said, beaming at him, then his brow creasing in concern as he took Lupin's gaunt and grim appearance in. "How are you?" He asked, swearing to himself that Lupin's hair was even grayer and his mismatched clothes more ragged and patched.

"Harry!" hissed Ginny Weasley. Dropping her voice, she added, "Last night was a full moon." Her brother, Ron, rolled his eyes at her.

"It's okay, Miss Weasley." Lupin smiled. "I'm fine. Happy Birthday, Harry!" He handed Harry the sack from the trinket shop.

Harry's smile grew. "Thanks!"

"Open that later." Lupin told him quickly. "Tonks sends her greetings as well. She might not be able to stop by tonight, she's very busy at work. Ah, hello, Molly!"

Molly Weasley shot him a quick glare over Harry's head. Smiling at her children, she said, "Go inside and bring the food outside."

"I'll help too, Mrs Weasley. Thanks again, Professor." Harry, Ginny, and Ron scurried off.

"Hello, Remus." Molly said tightly. "How are you?"

"Rough night." Lupin told her. "No Wolfsbane Potion. How are you?"

Molly looked him up and down then said, "I had an interesting visit from Tonks just about a fortnight ago."

Lupin raised an eyebrow. "How interesting?"

"It was very…informative."

"Ah." He said, grasping what she meant.

"I think…" Before Molly could say anything else, her husband, Arthur, Apparated into his backyard.

"Hello, dear. Ah, Remus, how are you?" He grasped Lupin's hand in a firm handshake.

"Let's get inside and see what the children are doing." Molly bustled off.

"I hope she didn't say anything…inappropriate?" Arthur asked as the two set off for the house in Molly's wake.

"No, she didn't. She's just looking out for Tonks."

Arthur nodded his approval, and then opened the rear door. "Hello, children!" He called.

"Hi, Dad!" His children answered.

"Bonsoir, Mr Weasley!" called Bill's fiancée, Fleur Delacour.

"Professor, Harry's in the living room." Ginny told him.

Lupin nodded at Ginny, the exited the kitchen. As the connecting swung open, it reveled Harry surrounded by wrapping paper, staring at the figure.

"Harry?" He asked softly.

Harry turned round to smile at him. Fingering the stag, which was nuzzling the doe, he said, "It's great, thanks." Harry wanted to say more, to tell Lupin what the figure meant to him, but while Lupin was one of his dad's best friends, his relationship with Harry himself was just one of former professor and student.

"You're welcome." Lupin paused, almost believing that he saw something like longing in Harry's eyes, but unsure to push their unusual relationship. "We use tell Lily that she'd be a doe to James' stag. It amused her to no end."

Harry laughed. He went to say something more, but Molly's voice carried into the room, "Food's ready!"

Harry and Lupin's gazes met and they both smiled. Lupin gestured that Harry should precede him. Walking through the kitchen, they exited the house. Mrs Weasley had set up outside since it was such a balmy afternoon.

"So," Harry said to him as Molly began to cut up his birthday cake. "You just came from London. Well, not the Ministry. What's been going on out in the real world? " He blushed as Molly gave him a look as she handed him a slice.

_"There have been another couple of dementor attacks," _Lupin told him, glad that he had picked up a copy of _The Daily Prophet_ in Diagon Alley and had listened to gossip while running his errands. He smiled at Molly as she handed him a large slice of cake. _"And they found Igor Karkaroff's body in a shack up north. The Dark Mark had been set over it- well, frankly, I'm surprised he stayed alive for even a year after deserting the Death Eaters; Sirius' brother, Regulus, only managed a few days as far as I can remember."_

_"Yes, well," _said Molly, frowning, _"perhaps we should talk about should talk about something diff-"_

_"Did you hear about Florean Fortescure, Remus?" asked Bill, who was being plied with wine by Fleur. "The man who ran-"_

_"-the ice cream place in Diagon Alley?" Harry interrupted. _Lupin felt concerned that Harry was reacting the way he was. He frowned slightly as Harry continued, _"He use to give me free ice creams. What's happened to him?"_

_"Dragged off, by the look of his place."_

_"Why?" asked Ron, while Mrs Weasley pointedly glared at Bill._

_"Who knows? He must've upset them somehow. He was a good man, Florean."_

_"Talking of Diagon Alley," said Mr Weasley, "looks like Ollivander's gone too."_

Lupin looked up, startled. Neville had visited Ollivander's just today. His was probably the last wand the shopkeeper had sold. The wizard must have closed up shop as he was shopping. He turned his attention back to the conversation.

_"The wandmaker?" _Ginny asked, looking startled.

_"That's the one. Shop's empty. No sign of a struggle. No one knows whether he left voluntarily or was kidnapped."_

_"But wands- what'll people do for wands?"_

_"They'll make do with other makers," said Lupin. "But Ollivander was the best, and if the other side have got him it's not so good for us."_

The party quickly fizzled after that depressing conversation. Lupin stayed for a bit longer, but knew he had to get back to the pack soon.

"Molly, Arthur, I'm leaving." He told them as twilight set in.

"Oh, Remus dear, do be safe!" Molly pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. "It must be so hard for you…living with them." She swiped a hand at her husband who was trying to quite her.

"I see Tonks told you." Lupin said, amused by their antics.

"Yes, we couldn't talk at dinner last time. She's just worried about you. As are we." Molly indicated both she and Arthur, who nodded affirmatively. "Get away when you can."

"I will, Molly. Harry!" Lupin brightened. His godson had come to say goodbye. The Weasleys left them alone.

"Goodbye, sir." Harry stuck out his hand, but his eyes again said he wanted more.

Not thinking clearly, Lupin pulled him into a quick embrace. "Goodbye, Harry, stay safe." Letting go, he looked into Harry's emerald eyes and said, "I remember the day you were born. Your parents were ecstatic. I was happy, but I think Sirius was even happier than Lily and James. Happy Birthday, Harry."

With that, Lupin turned and walked a few steps away. Last thing he saw before he Disapparated was Harry holding his figurine, smiling. His eyes were shining with happiness.

TBC


	8. Hogwarts Reawakens

Intimate Confessions

Gijane

Disclaimer, Rating, Summary: See Chapter One

Chapter Notes: Dora's scene in Chapter Eight of _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_ (American Ed, pgs 156-160). All text taken from the book is in _italics_. siriusgirl and I have often pondered what Aurors actually do. After much debate, I settled on Dora's original Patronus. I also made up the incantation for the Messenger Patronus. 'Nuntium' (sorry if I conjugated it wrong) means 'to send an official message. It's Latin (duh!) Evil, murdering Snape makes an appearance, nasty as ever.

Chapter Eight– Hogwarts Reawakens

Tonks was bored beyond tears. Night was beginning to set on the first of September while she sat in an Aurors meeting at the Three Broomsticks. Dawlish was just rambling on from the front counter, something about the Hogwarts Express pulling in soon. She had attended the school for seven years, so she knew when the train would arrive. She also knew to watch over the students as they disembarked. She was a professionally trained Auror after all.

Tonks caught Proudfoot's eye and he grinned at her. She followed the nod of his head and had to stifle a laugh as she saw Savage staring out the window, glassy eyed. Flicking her wrist, she sent a non-verbal spell his way that knocked his elbow off the back of his chair. His chin hit the top of it. She and Proudfoot had to bite their cheeks from laughing aloud as he struggled not to curse.

"In conclusion," Dawlish finished, "I would like everyone on their toes. The students are looking to us to keep them safe in these dangerous times." He beamed as his fellow Aurors clapped, not realizing they were mocking him. "Now, Nymphadora," he continued in a scathing tone. "Since you are a member of the Order of the Phoenix, will you please message the Deputy Headmistress to tell her that we are taking our positions?"

Tonks hear Proudfoot muttering, "Her name is Professor McGonagall. You're just bitter that a 75 year old woman survived your brutal attack on her, you prat."

She choked back a shout of laughter while Savage, still rubbing his chin, chuckled outright. Proudfoot, ever the perfect gentleman, opened the front door to the bar and allowed Tonks to exit first. As she passed him, he muttered into her ear, "He's just upset that Dumbledore hasn't allowed him to join the Order. Let's wonder why."

Tonks chuckled. "Shush, he'll hear! If you're reassigned who would be around to entertain me?" She scolded as they walked to the end of the high street to send Professor McGonagall the message.

Proudfoot chuckled as they reached the road that headed up to Hogwarts. Drawing her wand, Tonks cast her Patronus Charm and muttered the incantation"_Patronus nuntium_." A blast of silver shot out of the end.

As her Patronus gathered in front of her to receive its message, Proudfoot thought she was going to faint. "You okay, Tonks?" He asked.

Blinking, she turned to him, "I'm fine. Go to your position before Dawlish comes complaining."

"You sure?"

"Yes, just….go." Tonks turned from him to stare at her Patronus.

Proudfoot wanted to say something, but thought better of it. He turned away and walked off towards his position.

Tonks was in shock over her Patronus. Her chameleon was gone, and in its place was a wolf. Squinting, she realized it was not a common grey wolf, but in fact, a werewolf. A Patronus reflected a witch's personality.

"Remus." She muttered.

She smiled as her Patronus threw back its head and howled its recognition of her. It was her mate, Remus Lupin. Whispering her message, the werewolf streaked off towards the school. After it disappeared from sight, Tonks turned around and headed towards Hogsmeade Station. The scarlet Hogwarts Express was approaching.

She watched like a sentinel as the students debarked from the train. Now that she was alone, she slid back into her melancholy. She had gone to bed each night exhausted from trying to keep a cheerful face all day. Most of her co–Aurors knew something was wrong due to her unmorphed state, but they were smart enough not to say anything to her.

Most of the students turned away when they met her eye, taking in her Auror robes and badge, whispering to their friends, "Look, she's an Auror." She tried not to smile at their awe.

She smiled as Ginny Weasley walked by with a group of her friends, including Luna Lovegood. Ginny, knowing that Tonks was trying to act professional quickly waved. Her brother, Ron, ruined it by running up to the Auror.

"Hello, Tonks! How are you?" He gasped as Hermione Granger grabbed him by the back of his robes and dragged him off. Glancing over her shoulder, Hermione smiled quickly at Tonks, who was trying hard not to laugh at Ron's protests.

Slowly the station began to empty of students. Tonks greeted Neville Longbottom by name. He got some admiring glances from some other students because of her salutation. She paused as Draco Malfoy and his cronies strutted by laughing about something. She worried about what her cousin was up to. She then realized she had not seen Harry Potter yet.

She stepped up into the train. Walking down the corridor, she checked each compartment. She noticed one with the blinds were drawn on one, unlike the others.

Poking her head into it, she saw nothing at first. A bit of shimmer caught her eye. Feeling around she grasped an Invisibility Cloak and pulled. There, on the floor, was Harry.

_"Wotcher, Harry." _She said as she cast the counter charm to unfreeze him. He sat up, wiping the blood off, and looked up at her. _"We better get out of here, quickly. Come on, we'll jump."_

She turned and entered the corridor, hearing Harry hurriedly following behind her. Pulling open a door, she leapt onto the platform, which was quickly sliding away as the train began to move out of the station. Harry followed right behind her, staggering a bit on his landing. He turned and watched the train pick up more speed and disappear around a corner.

Tonks silently handed him his Invisibility Cloak knowing he must be both angry and embarrassed to be discovered in such a position by her.

_"Who did it?"_

_"Draco Malfoy," said Harry bitterly. "Thanks for…well…"_

_"No problem," said Tonks, without smiling. _She knew Harry was peering at her in the growing darkness, trying to figure out what was wrong with her. _"I can fix your nose if you stand still."_

She bit back a smile at the look of terror on Harry's face. He didn't seem to think that was a good idea, but he stood still and closed his eyes.

_"Episkey," said Tonks. _She bit back another smile as Harry raised a hand and gingerly felt his mended nose.

_"Thanks a lot!"_

_"You'd better put that cloak back on, and we can walk up to the school," said Tonks, still unsmiling._

As Harry put his Invisibility Cloak back on, Tonks cast the Messenger Patronus Charm again, but non-verbally telling her Patronus what to do.

_"Was that a Patronus?" asked Harry. _Tonks knew he had seen Dumbledore send messages like that.

_"Yes, I'm sending word to the castle that I've got you or they'll worry._ _Come on, we better not dawdle." _

_They set off toward the lane that led to the school._

_"How did you find me?"_

_"I noticed that you hadn't left the train and I knew you had that Invisibility Cloak. I thought you might be hiding for some reason. When I saw the blinds were drawn down on that compartment I thought I better check"_

_"But what are you doing here, anyway?" Harry asked._

_"I'm stationed in Hogsmeade now, to give the school extra protection," said Tonks._

_"Is it just you who's stationed her, or-?"_

_"No, Proudfoot, Savage, and Dawlish are here too."_

_"Dawlish, that Auror Dumbledore attacked last year?"_

_"That's right."_

Tonks and Harry silently continued up the lane, following the freshly made tracks of the carriages drawn by Hogwarts' Threstals. She knew that he was still trying to figure out what had happened to her. Finally, they made it to the gates. Harry pushed the gates, but they remained shut.

_"Alohomora!" he said confidently, pointing his wand at the padlock, but nothing happened._

_"That won't work on these," said Tonks. "Dumbledore bewitched them himself."_

_Harry looked around. "I could climb a wall," he suggested._

_"No, you couldn't," said Tonks flatly. "Anti-intruder jinxes on all of them. Security's been tightened a hundredfold this summer."_

_"Well then," Harry said starting to feel annoyed at her lack of helpfulness, "I suppose I'll just have to sleep out here and wait for morning."_

_"Someone's coming down for you," said Tonks. "Look." A lantern was bobbing at the distant foot of the castle._

Harry waited until the light was ten feet from him, then he pulled off his Invisibility Cloak so that he could be seen. Both he and Tonks recognized the hooked nose and greasy black hair of Severus Snape at the same time.

_"Well, well, well," sneered Snape, taking out his wand and tapping the padlock once, so that the chains snaked backward and the gates creaked open. "Nice of you to turn up, Potter, although you have evidently decided that the wearing of school robes would distract form your appearance."_

_"I couldn't change, I don't have my-"Harry began, but Snape cut across him. _

_"There is no need to wait, Nymphadora, Potter is quite-ah- safe in my hands."_

_"I meant for Hagrid to get the message," said Tonks, frowning._

_"Hagrid was late for the start-of-term feast, just like Potter here, so I took it instead. And incidentally," said Snape, standing back to allow Harry to pass him, "I was interested to see your new Patronus."_

_He shut the gates in her face with a loud clang and tapped the chains with his wands again, so that they slithered, clinking, back into place. _

_"I think you were better off with the old one," said Snape, the malice in his voice unmistakable. "The new one looks weak."_

_As Snape swung the lantern about, Harry saw, fleetingly, a look of shock and anger on Tonks' face. Then she was covered in darkness once more._

_"Good night. Thanks for…everything"_

_"See you, Harry." _Tonks called. She whirled around angrily and stomped off towards the village.

She made her way towards the Three Broomsticks were Madam Rosmerta was renting her out a room. Wearily, she climbed the stairs. She drew her wand and opened the door.

She quickly showered and changed into her nightclothes. Opening the shutters, she stared at the waning moon. Somewhere in Britain, Lupin was recovering from another brutal full moon.

Closing the shutter again, she climbed into bed. She cast the Patronus Charm one last time, smiling as the werewolf shot out from her wand. It sat at the foot of the bed and howled its recognition of her again.

Last thing Tonks remembered before she drifted off into sleep was muttering, "Good night, Remus."

Two hundred miles away, Lupin, hovering in a cave with his fellow werewolves, muttered sleepily, "Good night, Nymphadora."

TBC


	9. Lovers' Quarrel

Intimate Confessions

Gijane

Disclaimer, Rating, Summary: See Chapter One

Chapter Notes: Fanfic chapter! I took a break from retelling _Half-Blood Prince_. I didn't mention the tiny scene that Dora had in Ch12. It just didn't fit. She'll mention it in passing later. Warning: Dora and Remus' fight is bad, very bad. Explains why Dora wasn't around at the Burrow and spent the holiday alone and why Remus was so moody. Wolf pack information is from www.en. It was my beta's decision to make Lupin the lightweight (and he's a man!) After much, much discussion, we've decided that werewolves are like other canines and do mark their mates.

Chapter Nine– Lovers' Quarrel

Lupin sat staring into the flames late one chilly December night a week before Christmas. He was at home for a change, not with his werewolf pack. He knew that his mission for the Order was not going well. Sighing to himself, he was beginning to agree with Tonks that this mission was looking more and more futile. He had been underground since July and he had gotten practically nowhere. Greyback was not letting him near the children and the adults wouldn't listen to him either. They were also beginning to give him a hard time as well.

His head jerked up as he heard an Apparition crack from outside. Who could be calling at this time of night? He frowned as the person went not the front door, but to the kitchen door. His frown deepened as his house elf, Katrina, opened the door and greeted the caller warmly. His heart dropped to his stomach as he recognized the voice responding to Katrina. It was Tonks.

Tonks was happily chatting with Katrina when Lupin pushed open the connecting door to the kitchen. She froze in shock at the sight of him and saw the same surprise etched in his eyes.

"Come here often?" He asked jokingly. He raised an eyebrow as she blushed and his house elf turned away and busied herself.

"Hello, Remus. How are you?" She asked softly. They had not seen each other since their meeting in Diagon Alley on Harry's birthday.

"As well as can be expected."

"How is your mission?" She asked.

"Care to join me in the living room? I've a nice blazing fire going." He ignored the pointed look that his house elf sent him. Lupin frowned as Tonks stood and he got a full look at her. Her hair was still that mousy brown and she was looking extremely thin. However, he was more concerned that her usually sparkling chocolate brown eyes were flat, devoid of emotion. "Katrina, can you bring tea?"

"Lead the way, sir." Tonks smiled cheerfully at him, though her smile did not quite reach her eyes. "How about something a bit stronger, Remus?"

Lupin cocked an eyebrow at her but nodded his approval to Katrina. He pushed open the connecting door and bowed Tonks though it.

"Mind if I take off these wet robes?" She asked while shrugging out of them, revealing her Auror's uniform below.

His mouth went dry but he managed to say, "Not a problem. Katrina, will you dry Nymphadora's robes by the kitchen fire please. Leave the firewhiskey on the coffee table. Thank you." Tonks smiled as Katrina bowed herself out of the room.

"I've made it back to 'Nymphadora' have I? I was 'Tonks' at Diagon Alley." She kicked off her boots and collapsed on the couch next to him.

"You'll always be Nymphadora to me." He murmured.

Tonks, who had leaned forward to pour two shots of the firewhiskey, grinned into the flames. Not wanting to push him, she said, "Tell me how your mission is going. You haven't gotten to the children yet, have you?"

"No. Greyback, as the pack alpha, has made me the omega in the hierarchy."

"He's marked you as the lowest ranking member of the pack? Can't say I'm surprised. He knows what you're up to."

Lupin looked surprised. "You've done your homework."

"Of course. Told you I was going to." Tonks smiled at him. "So, what does he have the others do?"

"The others all watch what I do and where I go, on his orders. It's been like that since Harry's birthday. That's why I haven't been able to get away much. I certainly can't go waltzing up into your room at the Three Broomsticks without raising a few eyebrows now, can I?" He paused and tossed back his firewhiskey.

"How can you live like that? Can you see now that your mission is futile? I told you that from the beginning! You've lived as a wizard; the others will never trust you. I understand you want to reach the children, but Greyback won't let you." She tossed down her firewhiskey and poured them both another shot.

Lupin took her hand, surprising both of them. A current of electricity jolted through each of them. "Yes, I am beginning to see that I won't be able to reach the children until there is a new alpha. There will not be a new alpha until Greyback is dead." Lupin sighed, placed his chin on her head, and began to stroke her hair. Tonks closed her eyes, enjoying the sensations caused by his ministrations. She rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. "Tell me what you've been doing these past months." He said.

"I've had to watch Hogsmeade village and Hogwarts, whilst listening to Dawlish. You know how much of an idiot he is." Lupin snorted his agreement. "I've been sick with worry over you." She paused as he kissed her forehead in reassurance. "I've been trying not to blame myself for Sirius' death…what?" She was pushed up off his chest by him and he turned her to face him.

"Sirius' death was not your fault. End of story." Lupin told her, almost angrily."He was a fully trained member of the Order of the Phoenix. He knew exactly what he was getting himself into. He knew the risks. His death was not your fault and that's the last time I want to hear you say…or think that." He paused and she nodded. "Tell me, Nymphadora."

"Sirius' death was not my fault." She told him.

"Do you believe that?" He demanded.

"Now I do. Thank you, darling." She cringed as her term of endearment slipped out accidentally. He made no show that he noticed either.

They both raised their glasses. "To Sirius!" Lupin said, tossing back his shot.

"To Sirius!" Tonks replied finishing her shot as well. "I haven't felt this warm in quite a while."

"I can't hold my liquor." Lupin muttered.

"I know that. A few more shots and I could have my way with you." She giggled.

"Exactly." He grinned as she poured them another round. "It's not my fault Mad-Eye thought proper drinking techniques were part of Auror Training." She told him.

"Yes, you certainly learned from one of the best on how to hold your liquor." He laughed as she expertly tossed back another shot.

"It's all in the wrist." She told him demonstrating.

"Sure it is." He tried to mimic her wrist snap and failed. He barely got the shot down. He glared at her as she started laughing.

She poured two more shots.

"That's it for me!" Lupin told her. "Or I'll be all over you." He tossed down the shot.

"Firewhiskey's already loosing your tongue, darling." She leaned in close to his face and took a deep breath of his scent.

Lupin tensed up as Tonks sniffed him. "Do you know what you are doing?" He asked her.

"Scenting my mate." She muttered in reply as she inhaled deeply by his ear, then licked. He shuddered. She sat herself in his lap.

"Do you know what that means?" He asked hoarsely, wanting to resist her, but failing miserably.

"Like you said, I've done my homework. It means your mine." She came face to face with him. "Mine. And when you're away from me and with those…women, don't you forget it." She nipped gently at his collarbone.

"How could I?" He growled as she laid her claim to him. Swooping in, he caught her lips in a scorching kiss. Their mouths fused together. They kissed until they had to come up to breathe.

"I'm not doing this because I've been drinking." She told him.

"I know." He groaned as she kissed him again. "It would take a lot more than that to get you drunk."

She stopped. "And I'm not doing this because you're tipsy, either."

"Be quiet, Nymphadora." He seized her lips in another kiss.

"If you say so, darling." She moaned as his hands found the buttons of her shirt.

Trembling slightly, Lupin began to unbutton her top. He peeled back the halves to revel a black lace bra. "Oh, very nice." He murmured.

"Thought you like it. When I come to visit Katrina, I always wear nice knickers, in case you're here."

Lupin froze, his hands hovering over the front clasp of Tonks' bra.

"What is it, darling?" She asked, raising his head so she could look in his eyes.

"I can't do this. I'm sorry, Nymphadora." Lupin closed the open halves of her shirt and looked away.

"Why the hell not, may I ask?"

"I'm too dangerous to do this with you. What if I hurt you?" He closed his eyes, not wanting to see the confusion in hers.

"I just marked you as mine. I've done my homework. I know what to expect." Tonks couldn't believe he was doing this to her again. They had been through his excuses before. "Remus, you could never hurt anyone. There's not a dangerous bone in your body."

"Yes, I could, Nymphadora! Listen, I'm too old and too poor for you as well as being too dangerous."

"We've gone through these noble excuses of yours a thousand times. You are not too old. You're 37, not 137. As for being too poor, are we not sitting in you manor house with your house elf in the kitchen? Speaking of Katrina, didn't you promise her a new Mistress?"

"Katrina is exacting her own revenge on me without needing you to defend her as well. I don't deserve you." He couldn't believe that he had actually voiced one of his true reasons aloud.

"You don't deserve me?" Tonks' eyes widened in horror. "How could you think that of yourself? You are simply amazing." He averted his eyes from hers again. "I just wish that you could see that." She muttered.

"No, I'm not.I'm poor and I'm dangerous. Everyone that I've ever loved has died on me. I don't want you to die. I couldn't stand to lose you as well." There was the other true reason.

"That's what this is all about." Tonks yelled as she scooted off his lap and stood up, meanwhile buttoning up her shirt. "You're afraid that I'm going to die in this war and you don't want to get hurt again." Lupin watched as she walked to the fireplace tucking her shirt into her trousers and pulled on her boots. "All your friends have died fighting Voldemort- James, Lily, Sirius, Peter's as good as dead- so you don't want to get close to anyone. Is that why you're pushing me away? Because that damned selfish of you, Remus Lupin!"

She whirled around and barged into the kitchen. Katrina, who was standing at the sink pretending to be doing dishes, squeaked in surprise.

"Sorry, Katrina." Tonks muttered as she stalked to the fireplace and threw on her newly dried Auror's robe. She turned away from the flames as Lupin banged into the kitchen.

"I'm being selfish?" He said in a calm voice, causing her to flinch. It would have been better if he had yelled. "Nymphadora, as you pointed out, everyone I've ever loved is dead. Yes, I'm terrified of losing you. I can't do that to myself again. I can't live as another person I loved dies."

"Remus, I plan on going nowhere. I plan on winning this war then marrying you and having those children we discussed. What would Sirius say to you undermining his matchmaking?"

"Sirius has nothing to do with conversation. In fact, he would understand."

"Like hell he would." Tonks said scathingly. "You might be alive, but unloved is no way to live." With that statement, she stalked over to the door and wrenched it open. "Goodbye, Katrina. I don't think I'll be coming back." She blinked back tears as the house elf's lip trembled and threw on her cloak.

Tonks looked at Lupin. He looked utterly defeated. "Goodbye, Remus. Please be safe. I'm angry but I still love you."

With that, she exited Lupin Manor and ran to the Apparition Point. If she had turned around before she Disapparated, she would have seen Lupin, standing in the doorway watching her.

In his hand, he clenched her pink lace bra and t-shirt.

TBC


	10. A Not So Merry Christmas

Intimate Confessions

Gijane

Disclaimer, Rating, Summary: See Chapter One

Chapter Notes: Christmas chapter (Chapter 16) from _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_. If you've read this far, you know that all text in _italics_ are direct quotes from the book (American edition pgs 330-341) Lots of text to cover, so long chapter. The whole scene is not there, word for word, since that would be too long. Just the important parts are written out; the rest is summarized. Not a great Christmas (Hence the chapter name) for neither Remus nor Dora. Poor Dora spends Christmas alone. Remus isn't too happy either. However, they do give each other presents!

Author's Note: After this chapter, I am done messing with them both. No more fights, no more pining, just happiness from Ch 11 on out (Okay, a bit more 'mature' than fluffy!) there is a bit more sadness, Dumbledore does die, (If you haven't read _HBP_ yet, SORRY!) but I didn't cause it. Ms Rowling's responsible for that.

Chapter Ten– A Not So Merry Christmas

Tonks sat in her London flat staring miserably at her Christmas tree. It was rather pathetic, but she had bought it at the last minute, so it was the best that she could do. She had planned to spend the Christmas break with the Weasleys at the Burrow, but she knew that Lupin would be there. Not wanting to risk another quarrel, she had decided to stay home. Her parents, when they found out that she was originally spending Christmas away, has decided to go overseas, so she couldn't go to them.

She added a bit more tinsel to the sad little tree then shuffled off into the kitchen for some tea. She contemplated going into work tomorrow, but the other Aurors had taken the all holiday shifts and there was no need for her to be there as well. Her head jerked up at the sound of a knock at her front door. Who would be calling on Christmas Eve?

Drawing her wand, she went to the door and called, "Who's there?"

She gasped slightly as Lupin's voice answered, "It's me, Nymphadora, Remus. And your Patronus is a chameleon before you ask. Mine is a lion."

She quickly opened the door, meanwhile pocketing her wand, to revel Lupin standing there looking as if he was ready to bolt. "Wotcher, Remus." She paused. "Are you coming in?"

Lupin nodded then edged his way into the flat. Glancing around, he muttered, "Nice place."

"I like it. So, what can I help you with?" She threw herself on the couch and watched him.

"I thought you wouldn't be home. I was just going to drop off your Christmas present." He took in her small pathetic tree. "Are you going to your parents' later?"

"No. Mum and Dad are in Italy. Molly invited me over, but I'm not going. Proudfoot took the Christmas Eve shift; Savage the Christmas day one. They stuck me with New Year's. I hate being the most junior Auror." She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. "Let me get you your present." She sensed his unease. "Relax, it's Christmas. No fighting." She smiled again as Lupin visibly relaxed.

Tonks went down the hall to her bedroom closet where she had tossed his present in anger when she realized she wasn't going to be able to give it to him. Returning to the living room, she handed him her gift. "Merry Christmas." She told him. "It's not much, but I'm sure you'll find them useful."

He unwrapped his gift to find a jumper, trousers, and socks. He stroked the wool of the jumper and socks and the corduroy of the trousers, taking in how heavy they were.

"It should keep you warm…for when you're…there." She explained.

He looked at her in awe. "Nymphadora, thank you." Deciding to be bold, he kissed her cheek.

She blushed. "Like I said, it's not much."

"But you put thought into it. Thank you." He stoked the jumper again. "Your gift. I saw it and thought of you immediately. Merry Christmas." He handed her a small but colourfully wrapped box.

She ripped off the paper to revel a glass chameleon ornament. She laughed in delight as it began to change colours immediately. "Oh Remus, it's wonderful! It will remind me of my original Patronus." She kissed his cheek in return, and then blushed again.

"Original?" Lupin asked surprised. "Your Patronus has changed?"

Her blush deepened. "Yes, it has."

"What is it now?" He asked tightly, almost afraid of the answer.

"It's a werewolf." Tonks muttered, staring at the floor. Silence reigned in the small flat.

"Your Patronus is a werewolf." He asked quietly. Tonks knew he was trying to comprehend what her Patronus changing to a werewolf symbolized.

"Yes." She said boldly. "He's very handsome. He's just as I picture you in wolf form."

Lupin backed up into the corridor. "I have to get going. Molly's expecting me. Be careful please, Nymphadora. You tell me to be safe all the time, but I'm not the Auror."

It suddenly hit Tonks with what he had said during their fight last week, "Yes, I'm terrified of losing you. I can't do that to myself again. I can't live if another person I loved dies." He loved her. She just realized what he had said and what it truly meant. She understood his panic, but was upset that he was running. "Goodbye, Remus, take care." He let himself out the thick oak door. Replacing the chain, she placed her forehead on the door and muttered, "I love you."

Lupin, still standing on the other side of the door, placed a hand on the wood and muttered, "I love you" at the same time.

He Apparated to the Burrow where he was surrounded by a group of teenagers immediately. After chatting with them for a bit, he declined a snowball fight and made his way into the kitchen.

"Hello, Molly." He said as he entered.

Molly Weasley yanked her head out of one of her cabinets and smiled at him. "Remus! Hello yourself, how are you?"

"As well as can be expected." Lupin smiled weakly at her and collapsed onto the kitchen table bench.

"Tea? I have some stew as well." She busied herself as he nodded affirmatively. "Charlie's staying in Romania, Ginny's with Fleur, and Harry and Ron are in the attic, Percy…well you know." Molly's eyes brightened with tears for a moment but she shook them away. "I've moved Bill in with Fred and George, so you'll have your own room."

"Thank you, Molly, for letting me stay. I know it was last minute."

Molly waved her hand dismissively. "You're just like family. Christmas is family time. Did my children attack you as soon as you Apparated?"

"Yes, but that's fine." Lupin felt content at her backhanded compliment, but he still couldn't keep the sadness from his voice.

"Remus, what's wrong?" She thumped a large mug of tea down in front of him.

"Nymphadora and I had a fight last week. She won't be coming around for Christmas."

Molly sighed. Placing a bowl of stew in front of him she said, "I know it's none my business, but what did you fight about?"

"Our usual reasons." He said, not elaborating.

"Your usual reasons, you mean. I think you are taking a totally ridiculous line on this."

"I see she's told you." Lupin sighed and began to play with his stew.

"I got them out of her, but yes, she told me. Honestly, Remus, you couldn't hurt a fly. You're not old." Molly trailed off, not wanting to mention the last reason.

"But I'm poor." He pointed out.

"Tonks doesn't care about that sort of thing. She loves you for you. And you know that."

Before she could say anymore, her children and Harry Potter trampled into the house. Molly was distracted with yelling at them to remove their boots and not to trail snow into the house. Lupin took advantage of her distraction to slip into the living room. Sighing, he sat in front of the fire on the hearthrug. It wasn't long before the whole Weasley family, Harry, and Fleur joined him.

Lupin sat staring into the fire, completely oblivious to his surroundings. He had realized as he sat chatting with Molly that he had made a huge mistake with Tonks earlier in the afternoon. He now realized, with the simple gesture of her Christmas present, that she loved him unconditionally. Tonks hated his mission but she loved him enough to make sure that he was as safe as he could be. And as warm as he could be. She had offered him the perfect opportunity to declare his love and what had he done? He had run away. Again.

Harry's voice distracted him from his thoughts. He was questioning Arthur on Snape.

"_Has it occurred to you, Harry," said Mr Weasley, "that Snape was simply pretending-?"_

"_Pretending to offer help, so that he could figure out what Malfoy's up to?" said Harry quickly. "Yeah, I thought you'd say that. But how do we know?"_

"_It's our business to know," said Lupin unexpectedly. _He turned around to face Harry and Arthur. _"It's Dumbledore's business. Dumbledore trusts Severus, and that ought to be good enough for all of us."_

"_But," said Harry, "just say- just say Dumbledore's wrong about Snape-"_

"_People have said it, many times. It comes down to whether or not you trust Dumbledore's judgement. I do; therefore, I trust Severus."_

Harry continued to protest. He even asked if Lupin personally liked Snape. He was smart enough to remain neutral, saying while he and Snape would never be best friends because of all that happened between them while in school, he was grateful that Snape brewed him the Wolfsbane Potion, especially during his teaching tenure, therefore keeping him healthy.

After protesting a bit more, Harry then asked him, _"What have you been up too lately?" _

"_Oh, I've been living underground," said Lupin. "Almost literally. That's why I haven't been able to write, Harry; sending letters to you would have been something of a giveaway."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_I've been living among my fellow, my equals," said Lupin. "Werewolves," he added at Harry's look of incomprehension. "Nearly all of them are on Voldemort's side. Dumbledore wanted a spy and here I was…ready-made."_

He realized he sounded bitter so he smiled and continued to explain his mission; how Voldemort was promising a better life to the werewolves. He told Harry that Voldemort was using Greyback to marshal all the werewolves. Then he told Harry that Greyback especially was being used by Voldemort to threaten the Wizarding public, with good results because his speciality was children. .

_Lupin paused and then said, "It was Greyback who bit me."_

"_What?" said Harry, astonished. "When- when you were a kid you mean?"_

Lupin told Harry what had happened to between Greyback and his father. He told him that it took a long time to find out who had bitten him. Then he told Harry what Greyback did every full moon: positioned himself close to his victims. Finally, he told Harry that his mission wasn't going well because most werewolves thought that they should avenge themselves on normal people.

"_But you are normal!" said Harry fiercely. "You've just got a- a problem-"_

_Lupin burst out laughing. "Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my 'furry little problem' in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit." _He smiled and thanked Arthur as he handed him a glass of eggnog. He was pleased the Harry thought him 'normal', just as his father had.

Harry looked thoughtful then asked, "_Have you ever heard of someone called the Half-Blood Prince?"_

"_The Half-Blood what?"_

"_Prince," said Harry, watching him closely for signs of recognition._

"_There are no Wizarding princes," said Lupin, now smiling. "Is this a title you're thinking of adopting? I should have thought being 'the Chosen One' would be enough."_ It felt good to tease Harry. He knew he would react as James would have.

"_It's nothing to do with me!" said Harry indignantly._ He then went on to explain that he had the Prince's Potions book, mentioning that the Prince had invented Levicorpus Jinx.

Lupin sank into memories. He smiled as Harry mentioned seeing his father use Levicorpus on Snape while in Dumbledore's Pensive. He told Harry that jinxes went in and out of fashion; that Levicorpus was probably an old one, not invented while he was at school. He then realized, looking into Harry's disappointed face, that he thought perhaps James was the Half-Blood Prince. Lupin told him quietly, _"James was a pureblood, Harry, and I promise you, he never asked us to call him 'Prince.'"_

_Abandoning pretence, Harry said, "And it wasn't Sirius? Or you?"_

"_Definitely not."_ Lupin told him, surprised that Harry had even mentioned Sirius' name. According to all, Harry was again bottling up his emotions and had not mourned Sirius yet. He told Harry to check the publication date on the Potions book. That perhaps that would shed a clue to when the Prince was a Hogwarts student.

Shortly after that, Fleur began to mock Celestina Warbeck, annoying Molly, and everyone took this as a cue to go to bed. Lupin trekked up to Bill's room after picking up his overnight bag from the kitchen. He sat down on the bed and took out the wool socks that Tonks had given him for Christmas. Pulling them on, he quickly fell asleep, dreaming of her.

Late Christmas morning Lupin woke up to a small stocking of presents at the end of his bed. He put away most to look at them later. Quickly showering before it was impossible to, he pulled on the navy jumper that Molly had knitted for him. He wore the corduroys that Tonks had given him. For the first time in a long time, all the clothing he wore was brand new. Slipping on his very comfortable loafers, he made his way downstairs. He was determined to have a good time today, although he was miserable over Tonks being left alone. Hopefully no one would mention her.

Upon arriving in the kitchen, Lupin found that everyone else was already up. They were all also wearing their jumpers that Molly had knitted. Molly, wearing a brand-new witch's hat and a golden necklace beamed at him for wearing his as well. He sat down, the children and Arthur wishing him a Merry Christmas and Christmas lunch at the Burrow commenced.

He smiled as Ginny pointed out to Harry that there was a maggot in his hair, and then removed it. To Lupin, judging by Harry's reaction, it seemed that all the Potter men were attracted to redheaded women. He smiled broader when Ron knocked the gravy boat, all too eager to help Fleur.

_"You are as bad as zat Tonks," said Fleur to Ron. _She had kissed Bill to death in thanks for cleaning up the mess.

Lupin's stomach dropped. There, someone had said her name. Glancing at Molly, he knew by the look on her face she was going to pounce on the opportunity to mention that Tonks wasn't there and why. She hadn't been able to talk to him alone after their brief conversation yesterday. Arthur sent him a sympathetic look from his end of the table, know what his wife was going to do.

_"I invited dearTonks to come along today," said Mrs Weasley, setting down the carrots with unnecessary force and glaring at Fleur. "But she wouldn't come. Have you spoken to her lately, Remus?" _

Lupin smiled at Molly. He knew that she knew what was going on, but was being good in front of the kids. Arthur raised an eyebrow, but wisely did not comment. Lupin, playing along, said to Molly, _"No, I haven't been in contact with anybody very much. But Tonks has got her own family to go to, hasn't she?"_

_"Hmmmm," said Mrs Weasley. "Maybe. I got the impression she was planning to spend Christmas alone, actually." _Molly gave Lupin an annoyed look. She knew perfectly well why Tonks was alone on Christmas day and that it was entirely his fault. He wasn't angry though. He knew maternal Molly, who had known Tonks since she was eleven, was and was just being protective of her. She probably considered Tonks as one of her own.

Just like Harry, who then unknowingly rubbed more salt into his wound by saying, _"Tonks' Patronus has changed its form. Snape said so anyway. I didn't know that could happen. Why would your Patronus change?"_

"Because she's deeply in love with an absolute idiot who hurt her and has realized too late that he's as deeply in love with her as she is with him"- is what Lupin wanted to say to Harry as he slowly chewed his turkey. Instead, he barely managed to say, _"Sometimes…a great shock…an emotional upheaval…"_

_"It looked big, and it had four legs," said Harry, struck by a sudden thought and lowering his voice. "Hey…could it be-?"_

Lupin was spared Harry's theory as Molly yelled, _"Arthur! Arthur- it's Percy!" _Everyone made for the window. There was Percy all right- and Rufus Scrimgeour, the Minister of Magic.

Lupin knew that the Minister was up to something. Sure enough, he blustered on about being in the neighbourhood and Percy wanting to stop in. He then asked if anyone cared to take a stroll in the garden while Percy caught up with his family. Ignoring Ginny, Fleur and George, who were also done, he asked Harry to accompany him.

No one was fooled. This is why the Minister had come today, to get to Harry finally. Lupin half rose out of his chair to protest (Harry was his godson, after all) but was told, _"It's fine" _by Harry quietly who repeated that to Arthur as well, who was going to say something.

After an uncomfortable fifteen minutes, Harry and Scrimgeour both came back inside. The Minister and Percy, whose glasses were splattered with mashed parsnip (Fred, George and Ginny all claimed responsibility), quickly left. Molly spent the rest of the day crying.

Lupin left the Burrow on Boxing Day. Quickly making a stop at the Manor to give his house elf, Katrina, her present, he Apparated back to the clearing near the wood where Greyback had set up his lair.

Snuggled in Tonks' jumper, trousers, and socks, he sat front of the fire ignoring the glares from the other werewolves. He knew he smelled of magic and he did not care.

He knew this mission was going to be over soon.

TBC


	11. Battle and Aftermath

Intimate Confessions

Gijane

Disclaimer, Rating, Summary: See Chapter One

Chapter Notes: Dora reflects on the Montgomery incident (American Edition, pgs 465-466). The Battle: Chapters 27 and 28 in _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_. The Aftermath: Ch 29 (pgs 579-632). Same drill, all text in _italics_ is direct quote from the book, but lots of summarization. From Remus and Dora's PoVs, with a tiny bit of Harry's thrown in. Piecing the battle together really sucked.

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Part Three: 'The Discussion'

Chapter Eleven- Battle and Aftermath

Tonks sat at the window seat in her room at Three Broomsticks one balmy, late evening in May. She stared unseeing out her window to the high street below, reflecting on the past year and how much everything had changed. It had been almost a year since the battle at the Ministry where Sirius had lost his life and she had been injured. Almost a year since Lupin had taken her home to recover and they had spent that one perfect week together. Then Dumbledore had visited to assign Lupin his mission. Then everything had changed.

Tonks had not seen any other Order members since she ran into Harry in mid March when the Montgomery boy had died from Greyback's bite. That unfortunate event had sent Lupin even further underground since the Ministry was now looking for his pack. No one had heard from him since then. After her meeting with Dumbledore (who had by then realized why both she and Lupin were miserable), she had run into McGonagall and Snape in the entrance hall. That was the last time she had been inside Hogwarts.

She fingered her Auror's badge, playing with it. Her Ministry work was keeping her away from her Order work and she felt guilty. Dumbledore had reassured her that there was nothing to feel guilty about. She was, in fact, doing Order work as well by guarding the village and school. However, she still felt guilt.

Tonks sat up abruptly coming out of her thoughts, as she recognized a figure strolling down the high street. It was Lupin. She hadn't seen him since Christmas Eve. She gasped as he waved, then entered the Three Broomsticks. Tonks jumped up and quickly began to tidy her room. Throwing her Auror's robe on the window seat, she started as a knock sounded at the door. She attempted to straighten her mousy brown hair, then threw open the door. There he was. He looked a bit more worn and ragged, and he had a few more visible scars, but there he was, alive.

She gave a strangled cry of relief and threw herself into his arms. He caught her with a grunt, but held on to her tightly.

"You're alive!" She sobbed.

"Yes." He replied simply. Griping her tighter, he lifted her easily, entered her room and closed the door.

"You need a shower." Tonks told him as he set her down.

"Most definitely." He agreed, smiling as she wrinkled her nose. Tossing his bag on her bed, he pulled out the trousers and sweater that she had given him for Christmas and a set of brown robes. "I hope you have an en-suite bath."

"Got it 'cause I was the only female Auror assigned to Hogsmeade." She told him with a cocky grin. "I'll have Rosmerta launder those for you. Should give her a thrill to think I've been entertaining a man in my room."

She grinned as Lupin chuckled and entered the bathroom. A few seconds later, the door reopened and he tossed his dirty cloths out at her. "What am I your maid now!" She yelled jokingly as the shower turned on. She chuckled as she heard him let out a bark of laughter.

Tonks opened the door, still chuckling, to bring his clothes to be laundered. She stopped short. Sitting there, oddly reminiscent of its owner, was Professor McGonagall's Patronus. The cat meowed at her then delivered its message.

Tonks' smiled died. As the Patronus vanished, she closed her door. She then knocked on the bathroom door.

"Remus, I know you're thoroughly enjoying that, but Minerva has ordered us to the castle to patrol tonight. The Headmaster is leaving the school again. Bill's going to meet us at the gates." She tried not to giggle as she heard him groan in frustration.

She quickly changed out of her uniform into a pair of heavily patched jeans and a bright pink t-shirt. Throwing on her everyday black robes, she looked in the mirror and tried unsuccessfully to morph her hair. She turned around as Lupin exited the bathroom, dressed but still barefoot. He sat on her bed and pulled out a pair of darned socks.

Pulling them on, unaware of how intimate a gesture it was to her, he said, "I don't have an undershirt."

Tonks grinned at him, and then went to her dresser. She pulled out his undershirt that she had run off in nearly a year ago and tossed it to him. Cocking an eyebrow at her, he reached into his bag, pulled out her pink lace bra and repaired t-shirt and tossed them at her.

She laughed as she caught them. "Do you still think your reasons are enough to keep us apart?"

"Not now, Nymphadora." He told her as he took off his jumper and pulled on the undershirt.

Tonks stuck her tongue out at him as he pulled the jumper back over his head. "When then?" She asked.

"Tonight, after the Headmaster returns, I'll come back here" Lupin said. He smiled as she brightened. "Let's go." He held out his hand to her. She pulled him off the bed. Quickly she planted a peck on his cheek, and then left her room. He followed behind, smiling.

Not quite hand and hand, but close enough, Tonks and Lupin walked down the high street towards Hogwarts. As they approached, even from a distance, they could make out Bill's long red hair. Drawing closer, they watched his handsome face break out into a grin.

"I get to tell Mum." He said in greeting.

Tonks laughed and Lupin broke out into a grin. Together they only had to wait a few minutes for the upright form of Minerva McGonagall to exit the oak front doors of the school and make her way down to the gates. The three noticed that she was wearing a concerned look as she tapped the chains on the gates. Swinging open the gates open, she greeted them each by name, smiling slightly as Tonks winced at her given name. She smiled out right as Lupin smirked at Tonks' wince.

"Albus is leaving the school again tonight and he's taking Harry with him. I don't know where they are going." McGonagall told them as she closed and locked the gates again.

Lupin nodded, but both Tonks and Bill were surprised that the Headmaster would remove a student, especially this particular student, without informing his Deputy as to where he was going.

"So, what are we to do? How many of us are there? What's the plan?" Tonks asked McGonagall, shifting into Auror mode. Bill raised an eyebrow, not having ever seeing her like this he was impressed. Lupin felt a burst of pride.

"You, Remus, and Bill are to split the school in thirds and patrol the corridors. The Heads of House will be in their offices in case we need to get to the common rooms quickly. Hagrid and Frienze will be patrolling the grounds while the other teachers will be assisting you three and covering the classrooms. Curfew, for the older students, is set for 8pm to night."

Tonks nodded her approval. "Bill takes the top floors, Remus the bottom ones. I'll take the dungeons and the entrance hall. I'll do sweeps of the whole school but I want them to run into me first if need be."

"Why you?" Bill asked.

"She's the Auror." Lupin answered for her. Tonks smiled at him.

"Right. Sorry, Tonks. I still see you as the Charlie's best buddy, not a trained professional."

Tonks laughed. "It's okay, Bill. We all have to grow up sometime. You're the one getting married, not me."

McGonagall and Lupin laughed at the look on Bill's face from her cheek. They entered the school as dinner was just letting out from the Great Hall. Lupin caught sight of Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny but they didn't see him.

"He's been doing well this year." Tonks murmured close to his shoulder. "He even managed to get himself a girlfriend." She pointed at Ginny. "Now only if his godfather would take his advice."

"Later, Nymphadora." He told her. "Be careful."

"That's my line, darling." She told him, shooting Bill a look as he pretended to gag.

"I'll be careful too, sweetheart." Bill joked, kissing her cheek. He laughed at the looks they both sent his as he jogged off.

"Be careful." They told each other at the same time. Lupin smiled, and then turned to escort McGonagall, who was beaming at them, to her office before taking up his patrol.

A few hours into the patrol Dumbledore and Harry were still not back. Leaving Professor Vector in the entrance hall, Tonks climbed the staircases, finally finding Lupin on the third floor. He and Professor Slughorn were patrolling together.

Tonks smirked as Lupin threw her a desperate look to save him from Slughorn's insistent chatter. He shot her a look of outrage as she pretended to ponder if she would save him or not.

Pinning her Auror's badge, Tonks strolled down the corridor. "Remus, Bill needs us. Hello, Professor Slughorn, how are you? You'll manage patrolling alone?"

Lupin nearly chocked on a laugh as Slughorn's eyes bulged at his sighting of her badge. "I'm quite well tonight, my dear." He managed to tell her. "I shall be just fine. You may take Mr Lupin."

"Come on, Remus." She grabbed the arm of his robes and turned them back down the corridor. "Goodbye, Professor." She called as she unpinned her badge and pocketed it.

"Do you always carry that around?" Lupin asked as they began to search for Bill.

"I have to, darling. There's Bill." She pointed out the oldest Weasley sibling at the youngest two and Neville Longbottom came barrelling down the corridor yelling.

"What's going on? Slow down!" Tonks shouted. "Ginny, tell us."

"Malfoy…Death Eaters…inside." Ginny panted out.

Not waiting to hear any more, Tonks, Lupin, and Bill ran down the corridor. After a quick search, they came upon Malfoy and the Death Eaters near the Astronomy Tower. Duels quickly broke out.

"Tonks!" hollered Bill, pointing.

She whipped around to see Gibbon, recognizing him from his wanted poster, and Malfoy breaking away and heading up the tower stairs. Hurling a Stunning spell, she missed as they made it up the stairs.

"Look out!" She screamed as a Death Eater threw himself at Bill. It was Greyback.

"Tonks!" yelled Ron. She spun around to see Gibbon re-entering the battle."Neville!" Lupin yelled as the boy was thrown back from the Tower's stairwell. He made for Neville to make sure he was okay, and then tried to get up the stairwell. He was thrown back as well.

"Remus!" Tonks yelled. There where curses, hexes, and jinxes being fired off left and right.

"I'm fine." Lupin yelled back, ducking a Killing Curse that bounced off the wall and hit Gibbon. Four of the Death Eaters, including Greyback who left Bill in a pool of blood, turned and sprinted up the stairwell.

Tonks and Ginny made to follow them. Both were also thrown back. _"They've blocked the stairs – Reducto! REDUCTO!" _Tonks screamed as Ginny picked herself back up.

"Severus." Lupin pointed as Snape ran by them and up the stairs. He ducked another jinx and threw a Stunning spell at the same time. He gaped as Snape ran right though the barrier and up the stairwell. The battle raged on.

A large Death Eater fired off a hex that caused half the ceiling to cave in. Tonks, Lupin and McGonagall, who had joined the battle, all ran foreword to head up the stairwell.

However, Snape ran back down the stairwell, this time dragging Malfoy with him. _"It's over, time to go!" _He shouted. The three raised their drawn wands, let them pass, and went to rejoin the battle.

A few more moments passed, and then Harry Potter ran straight into the heart of the fighting. Pausing to look around, he was knocked down by Greyback. Harry managed to body bind the werewolf then took off after Snape and Malfoy.

The Death Eater Amycus, was hurling hexes at Ginny, who was miraculously dodging them.

"_Impedimenta!" yelled Harry._

"_Harry, where did you come from?" _asked Ginny, who received no answer because he had tripped over Neville.

Harry then hit the Death Eater who had been throwing hexes and jinxes, causing most of the chaos. Suddenly, the remaining Death Eaters all turned and ran. Harry sprinted after them.

Everyone was surprised that the battle had ended as abruptly as it had begun. Tonks turned, wand drawn, as pounding footsteps came racing down the corridor. She lowered her wand as Poppy Pomfrey came around the corner carrying her medical bag.

"Bill and Neville." Lupin pointed them out to the nurse. "Bill's…a bit…worse off." He changed what he was going to say as Ron and Ginny came up to him.

Madam Pomfrey quickly checked Neville. Having been reassured that he was fine, she left Tonks to patch him up. She moved on to Bill. Finding him alive, she recruited Lupin to assist her. Conjuring a stretcher, they levitated Bill onto it and everyone headed to the Hospital Wing. McGonagall headed off to her office to contact Molly and Arthur. Tonks sent Ginny to find Harry.

Everyone waited at the far end of the ward, tense, until they heard the Hospital Wing's doors open. Harry and Ginny entered.

Lupin moved forward, asking Harry how he was. He was assured he was fine. Harry asked after Bill. He was told that there was no charm to fix the damage inflicted on him.

Lupin knew what was coming next. Harry turned to him and asked, _"Greyback hadn't transformed, so surely Bill won't be a- a real-?" _He trailed off uncertain.

"_No, I don't think that Bill will be a true werewolf," said Lupin, "but that does not mean that there won't be some contamination. Those are cursed wounds. They are unlikely ever to heal fully, and- and Bill might have some wolfish characteristics from now on."_

"_Dumbledore might know something that'd work, though," Ron said. "Where is he? Bill fought those maniacs on Dumbledore's orders, Dumbledore owes him, he can't leave him in this state-"_

"_Ron-Dumbledore's dead," said Ginny._

"_No!" Lupin looked wildly from Ginny to Harry, as though hoping the latter might contradict her, but when Harry did not, Lupin collapsed into a chair beside Bill's bed, his hands over his face._

Tonks saw that Harry was terrified. Lupin had always been strong and resilient in front of him. Now here he was losing control. She knew that Dumbledore was Lupin's last significant link to his past. Now he was dead.

"_How did he die?" whispered Tonks. "How did it happen?"_

"_Snape killed him," said Harry. _He then proceeded to tell the tale of what happened up on the Astronomy Tower.

Madam Pomfrey burst into tears but was shushed by Ginny who whispered, _"Shh! Listen!"_

Everyone quieted to listen to the beautiful, but sad, lament that a phoenix was singing. The song seemed to sooth and eased the pain of the loss a bit.

The enchantment of the music was broken when Professor McGonagall entered the ward and announced that Molly and Arthur were on their way. She paused as everyone came out of their trances.

"_Harry, what happened? According to Hagrid you were with Professor Dumbledore when he- when it happened. He says Professor Snape was involved in some-"_

"_Snape killed Dumbledore," said Harry._

McGonagall stared at Harry for a moment, and then swayed. Madam Pomfrey conjured a chair that the new Headmistress fell into. _"Snape. We all wondered…but he trusted…always…Snape…I can't believe it…"_

"_Snape was a highly accomplished Occlumens," said Lupin, his voice uncharacteristically harsh. "We always knew that."_

"_But Dumbledore swore he was on our side!" whispered Tonks. "I always thought Dumbledore must know something about Snape that we didn't…" _

"_He always hinted that he had an ironclad reason for trusting Snape. I mean…with Snape's history…of course people were bound to wonder…but Dumbledore told me explicitly that Snape's repentance was absolutely genuine…Wouldn't hear a word against him!" _McGonagall told everyone while dabbing her tears away.

"_I'd love to know what Snape told him to convince him," said Tonks._

"_I know," said Harry. _He proceeded to tell everyone, who just stared at him.

"_And Dumbledore believed that?" said Lupin incredulously. "Dumbledore believed that Snape was sorry that James was dead? Snape hated James…"_

"_And he didn't think my mother was worth a damn either," said Harry, "because she was Muggle-born…'Mudblood,' he called her…"_

Everyone was in shock, reeling. They were trying to absorb the truth of what had happened that night.

"_This is all my fault. My fault. I set Filius to fetch Snape tonight, I actually sent for him to come and help us! If I hadn't alerted Snape to what was going on, he might never had joined forces with the Death Eaters. I don't think he knew they were there before Filius told him, I don't think he knew they were coming." _McGonagall said.

"_It isn't your fault, Minerva," said Lupin firmly. "We all wanted more help, we were glad to think that Snape was on his way…"_

Harry asked then what precisely had happened. McGonagall explained first, then Ron and Ginny. Lupin filled what he and Tonks knew, then Hermione explained what happened in the dungeons.

Tonks and Lupin picked the tale back up, explaining what happened at the battle scene. Tonks told Harry in a hollow voice that she just let Snape pass by, thinking that he was being chased. _"I thought I heard Snape shout something, but I don't know what- " Tonks_ finished.

"_He shouted, 'It's over,' "said Harry. "He'd done what he'd meant to do."_

Silence reigned in the Hospital Wing of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as each occupant sat reflecting on the night's events.

_Outside, Fawkes' lament was still echoing over the dark grounds_.

TBC


	12. Confrontation and Renewal

Intimate Confessions

Gijane

Disclaimer, Rating, Summary: See Chapter One

Chapter Notes: The Good 'Ship L/T sets sail! Anchors away! If you are squeamish when it comes to very naughty smut, **do not** read this chapter! Lupin performs his 'miracle' on Tonks ('Her hair miraculously returned to its vividest pink'- _HBP_ American edition, pg 641). Since we are (mostly) consenting adults, we know what said 'miracle' is. All text in _italics_ is directly from the book, pgs 621-624) (duh). Yes, I wrote Fleur's French accent in (it is canon!) Even I was surprised as I wrote by who said the words that spurred Lupin into action. Now just take out the parts that apply to Lupin/Tonks and add their problems. You'll see the parallel.

Chapter Twelve- Confrontation and Renewal

Lupin sat, unfeeling, in a chair beside Bill Weasley's bed. Glancing at the now savaged young man, he hoped with all his might that there would be little or no contamination. That Bill would go on to live a normal healthy life, something that he could never have.

With Albus Dumbledore's death, the final link to his past had been severed. Everyone he loved was dead- James, Lily, Sirius; Peter was as good as dead. Now Dumbledore. He could feel himself withdrawing, shutting off the rest of the world. He could hardly believe that he had broken down earlier. It had probably scared Harry and the other children to see their former professor collapse.

Tonks watched Lupin as she sat across from him. She knew that he was withdrawing and that he was pulling away from her. She needed to do something, to talk to him, but now was not the time.

Both their heads jerked up as the doors to the Hospital Wing. In came Molly and Arthur, followed by a distraught Fleur. McGonagall greeted them but Molly pushed right by her and ran to her son. Lupin and Tonks both jumped up out of the bedside chairs so that the Weasleys could sit by their son.

Molly brushed a kiss on Bill's forehead while Arthur asked McGonagall, _"You said Greyback attacked him? But he hadn't transformed? So what does that mean? What will happen to Bill?"_

_"We don't know yet," said Professor McGonagall, looking helplessly at Lupin._

_"There will probably be some contamination, Arthur," said Lupin. "It's an odd case, possibly unique…We don't know what his behaviour might be like when he awakens…"_

They both watched as Molly took some nasty-smelling ointment from Poppy and began to apply it to Bill's wounds herself. Molly asked what had happened to Dumbledore.

Tonks saw Ginny move slightly out of the corner of her eye. She was not watching her brother but rather Fleur, who was just standing over Bill, a frozen expression on her face.

Molly began to cry. _"Of course it doesn't matter how he looks…It's not r-really important…but he was a very handsome little b-boy…always very handsome…and he was g-going to be married!"_

_"And what do you mean by zat?" said Fleur suddenly and loudly. "What do you mean, ' 'e was going to be married?"_

Molly looked startled. _"Well- only that-"_

_"You theenk Bill will not wish to marry me anymore?" demanded Fleur. "You theenk, because of these bites, he will not love me?"_

_"No, that's not what I-"_

_"Because he will! It will take more zan a werewolf to stop Bill loving me!" _Fleur drew herself up to her full height and tossed her hair over her shoulder.

_"Well, yes, I'm sure, but I thought perhaps- given how- how he-"_

_"You thought I would not weesh to marry him? Or per'aps, you hoped? What do I care how he looks? I am good-looking enough for the both of us, I theenk! All these scars show zat my husband is brave! And I shall do zat!" _Fleur snatched the ointment from Molly's hand. Fleur shoved Molly aside. She fell into Arthur. Fleur began to apply the ointment to Bill's wounds.

No one said a word as they waited for Molly to explode. Lupin caught the strange expression that was written on Tonks' face as she stared at Fleur. What could possibly be going through her mind?

Molly offered Fleur the use of her great aunt's goblin-made tiara for the wedding. Fleur stiffly accepted. Suddenly, the two women were hysterically crying and hugging. Everyone else in the room was startled. Except Tonks.

_"You see! She still wants to marry him, even though he's been bitten! She doesn't care!"_ She glared at Lupin.

_"It's different," said Lupin, barely moving his lips and looking suddenly tense. "Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely-"_

_"But I don't care either, I don't care!" said Tonks, seizing the front of Lupin's robes and shaking them. "I've told you a million times…"_

_"And I've told you a million times," said Lupin, refusing to meet her eyes, staring at the floor, "that I am too old for you, too poor…too dangerous…"_

_"I've said it all along you're taking a ridiculous line on this, Remus." _Molly told him.

_"I am not being ridiculous," said Lupin steadily. "Tonks deserves somebody young and whole."_

_"But she wants you. And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so." _Arthur told him, gesturing to Bill between them.

_"This is…not the moment to discuss it," said Lupin, avoiding everybody's eyes as he looked around distractedly. "Dumbledore is dead…" _

He watched as he saw the defeat finally appeared in Tonks' dark eyes. She detached herself from his robes and moved a way away from him, head hung. He barely heard McGonagall's words.

_"Dumbledore would have been happier than anyone else to think that there was a little more love in the world." _

Everyone turned as the Hospital Wing doors opened again. This time, they admitted Hagrid. He explained that he had moved Professor Dumbledore's body, Professor Sprout had gotten all the students back to bed, Professor Flitwick was taking it easy (after his run in with Snape), and that Professor Slughorn had informed the Ministry. McGonagall then took Harry to her new office to meet with the Heads of House.

Lupin sat back down and reflected on what had just happened. Tonks had challenged him in front of everybody and he had broken her heart. He glanced over to where she sat staring out the window, head still bowed.

She gave everyone a start as she jumped down from the window still. "Hagrid said that the Ministry's been informed? Then I had better go report to Dawlish. He'll be in a snit if the Minister arrives and he has no idea what's going on." Not looking anyone in the eye, she ran out of the Hospital Wing.

Lupin could feel everyone's eyes on him now. He was thinking hard on McGonagall and Arthur's words. Tonks did love him unconditionally. And he loved her. Ron interrupted his thoughts.

"You should go after her, Professor. Love is the most important thing in this world. It doesn't care that there is a war going on. It doesn't care that you are a werewolf, that you're poor, or that you're older than she is. Go after her and beg her to take you back before she does find someone whole and young. She loves you and you love her, that's all she cares about." Ron looked over at Hermione and Ginny, both wearing surprised expressions on their faces. "What?"

Everyone was startled again as Lupin leapt from his seat and left the Hospital Wing without excusing himself.

"Well that was certainly out of character." Molly said, breaking the silence. Everyone laughed. "And where did that come from, Ron Weasley? I am very impressed."

Ron blushed as everyone laughed again. Hermione was laughing, but casting him odd glances as well.

Maybe two good things could come of his words.

Lupin burst out of Hogwarts Castle and down the grounds. He nodded curtly to the party from the Ministry as he passed them. Reaching the gates, he nodded to Proudfoot and Savage who were on guard duty.

"She's in her room." Proudfoot told him.

"Thank you." Lupin said, moving down the road towards the village. He moved quickly down the high street to the Three Broomsticks.

Arriving at the pub, he was annoyed to find it locked up for the night. Going around the back, he located Tonks' window. All the lights were out.

Swearing, he picked up a handful of pebbles and began to toss them gently at her window. He was at it for a few minutes before a candle flared in her room.

Tonks opened the window and looked down. "Remus?" She asked incredulously.

"Come out here." He hissed.

"Why? What could you possibly have to say to me…?"

She had begun to turn from the window when he yelled up, "I love you."

She froze. "I beg your pardon?"

"I love you, Nymphadora."

Tonks was astonished. "'I heard you the first time. I can't go through this again, Remus. I'm sorry but I give up..."

"Please, love. Just talk to me for a moment."

She was intrigued by the pet name. "I'll be right down."

Lupin paced impatiently as he waited for her. He heard the front door open. Then she began to recast the protective wards. Finally, she came around the back.

"Rosmerta has been taken to St Mungos for observation. Poor woman, she was in shock when the Imperius…"

Tonks gasped as Lupin grabbed her arm. She felt the pressure of an Apparition. They were suddenly no longer in Hogsmeade. She looked around to figure out where they were. Realization dawned. They were at Lupin Manor.

"…Curse was lifted." Tonks finished her sentence. "So, what do you need to tell…?" She was cut off by Lupin's searing kiss. She really wanted to resist, but could not.

As he broke the kiss for air, she whispered, "Please, Remus, not again. I can't. Not again."

"I love you." He whispered hoarsely in her ear. "I want to marry you and have babies, lots of babies. I'm so sorry, love, so sorry."

Tonks's dark chocolate eyes locked with his amber ones. "Remus?"

"I love you. Please, say you still love me." He looked terrified at the possibly that she didn't love him anymore.

"Promise." She asked him.

He understood. "I promise."

Looking in his eyes one last time, she said, "I love you, Remus."

"Thank God." He groaned, and then captured her lips again.

Picking her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist. He started in the direction of the house, still kissing her. She giggled as he walked them into the bird feeder by the back door.

"Sorry." He muttered. Managing to open the kitchen door, he stumbled over his house elf.

"Sorry." He muttered again.

Katrina watched in delighted surprise as her Master backed out the kitchen door and up the stairs, meanwhile kissing Miss all the way.

Lupin kicked open the door to his bedroom. He tossed Tonks on the bed; he then struggled out of his jumper and undershirt.

Tonks, giggling at his impatience, kneeled on the bed. "What do you plan to do with me now?"

Finally getting the undershirt off, he looked at her. Smiling, he ripped her t-shirt in half. "I plan to have my wicked werewolf way with you."

Tonks laughed. "Honestly, darling, that's the second shirt you've ripped of mine. Can't you learn to remove them properly?"

"No." He told her, and then captured her lips again. He groaned as she grabbed his belt and began to unbuckle. "Are you sure?" He managed to ask.

"You've started the mating cycle and now you ask me that?" She pulled his trousers down. "It's too late to stop." Hands quickly removed her jeans and shoes where thrown off.

Lupin looked down at her on his bed. All she was wearing were her green lace knickers and bra. She smiled seductively up at him, and then offered her hand.

He joined her in bed. Smoothing down her brown hair, he kissed her again. Scenting her, he moaned as she asked, "Are you going to mark me?"

Pulling back, he asked, "Do you want me too? Especially after tonight?"

"Abso-bloody-lutly." She said. "They are two totally different situations. Mark me yours, darling."

He growled in pleasure. Licking her neck, he removed her bra and knickers at the same time, pausing only to help her as she fumbled trying to remove his boxers.

Both naked as the day they were born, Tonks stuttered, "Remus, I've never…it's that…I'm a…"

Lupin smiled at her. "Luckily, I travelled a bit between Voldemort's first defeat and my teaching tenure. I had a few ladies willing to show a stranger a thing or two."

"Darling, how naughty of you! But lucky for me." She groaned as he began to scent her again.

"Mine." He growled, his personality taking on more wolfish characteristics. "All mine."

"Yes, darling, all yours. Take me."

Lupin's growl deepened as he positioned himself. Slowly entering her, he moaned at how tight she was. Reaching her barrier, he stopped; surprised it was still in tact given how active she was.

Tonks moaned in protest. Locking her legs around his waist, she pulled him foreword, through her barrier. She gasped in surprise and quick tears filled her eyes. "Are you okay, love?" He asked, feeling her adjust. "Relax."

She unclenched her muscles and relaxed. "Better." She said.

He moved slightly. Encouraged by her moan, he moved a bit more. He picked up the pace as she moaned louder. "I knew you would be loud." He whispered in her ear. "I'm never going to be able take you anywhere. Not that I'm complaining. "

Giggling, she clenched her muscles. They both gasped from the sensations that rocked them. As he picked up the pace once more, Tonks moaned louder. "Sorry." She whispered.

He didn't answer. He was absorbed in the scent of her. He buried his face in the base of her throat and inhaled deeply. He could feel his wolfish characteristics surfacing again.

Tonks, meanwhile, was exploring his body with her hands and mouth. She traced old scars and marvelled at how toned his body was. "More." She moaned louder as he picked up the pace again.

He knew what she was asking for. Absorbed as he was with his inner wolf, he still asked her again, "Are you sure?"

"Are you my mate or not?"

"My mate." He growled, licking her neck. "I'm yours."

"Are we getting married and having babies?" She asked.

"Oh God, yes. I love you so much."

"Then mark me as yours so the whole world knows I love you as well."

Lupin withdrew form her body. Smiling as she growled a protest, he flipped her over and repositioned himself. She surged back onto him. He gave a shout of surprise.

"Very naughty, Nymphadora."

"Nymph-like, in fact." She moaned as he plunged into her.

"I always told you that you were properly named." He licked her left shoulder, knowing her right was her wand arm, in preparation for her mark.

This stimulated her. She growled in pleasure as he moved within her. "Now." She told him.

Lupin bend foreword, still pumping into her, and bit her shoulder.

She cried out, part in pain, but mostly in pleasure as orgasm took her.

He looked down at where he had marked her. Seeing it, what it symbolized, caused him to come as well. He yelled as he emptied himself into her.

Tonks collapsed onto the bed, taking him with her. After catching his breath, he rolled off her, pulling her with him into a spooned position.

Everything that had happened that night and just what had happened settled on them both at the same time. Their bodies demanded sleep.

"I love you, Dora." He whispered to her.

"Love you too." She murmured.

They fell asleep in each other's arms, both deeply content.

TBC


	13. Beginning and Ending

Intimate Confessions

Gijane

Disclaimer, Rating, Summary: See Chapter One

Chapter Notes: The Morning After (squeals with excitement) and the two lovely days in between. Ascella is two stars that are part of the Sagittarius Constellation. They make up the armpit of the Archer. (I'm so mean, aren't I?)

Thanks for the reviews so far. I LOVE reviews! Got another beta. Poor Godricgal had to move house! Thanks to LadyoftheLake for beta'ing. She's Canadian and I'm American, so any glaring 'Americanisms' around...SORRY.

Chapter Thirteen - Beginning and Ending

Lupin woke up very late the next morning and choked on mouthful of hair. Not completely awake, he brushed it out of his face and sat up. He blinked as the memories from the previous night came flooding back to him: Death Eaters had invaded Hogwarts; Albus Dumbledore was dead, murdered by Severus Snape; his cover with the werewolves was blown; Greyback had savaged Bill Weasley. Tonks' confrontation of him in the Hospital Wing; his confrontation of her outside the Three Broomsticks; Apparating to Lupin Manor; their declarations to one another; making love.

He looked over a still slumbering Tonks. He smiled realizing it was her hair he woke up to a face full of. He brushed it back to reveal her pale heart shaped face. She murmured incoherently, rolled over, and fell out of the bed. He let out a shout of laughter. He was still chucking as her head popped up.

"Morning." She mumbled. "Sorry 'bout that."

"Good morning, love." He replied as he helped her back into bed. "You know what the best thing is about marrying a Metamorphmagus?"

"We're getting married? I don't remember you asking. I remember you telling me, but not asking me."

Lupin was taken aback. He opened his mouth, unsure what to say, when he saw her dark eyes twinkling with laughter. Two could play at this game.

"I marked you as my mate last night. We are getting married. End of story." He threw back the covers and walked over to his desk, removed a small box, then got back into bed.

"Thanks for the lovely view. "Tonks teased.

"Glad you enjoyed it. Here." He shoved the box at her.

She opened the box to reveal a large diamond engagement ring. "Muggles use diamond rings to symbolize an engagement." He explained to her. "My father gave this to my mother. I want you to have it." He paused for dramatic effect. "Will you marry me, Nymphadora?"

Tonks began to cry as Lupin removed it from the box and slid it over her left ring finger. "Oh Remus, yes!" She threw her arms around him and hugged him close. He settled her in the crook of his arm and began to stroke her hair. "It's so beautiful. My Dad gave Mum one as well, though not nearly as large. I couldn't wear this all the time; I'd destroy it within a week." She smiled watery as he agreed. "Now tell me, what's the best thing about marrying a Metamorphmagus?"

Lupin grinned a cocky smile, "You go to sleep with a brunette and wake up with a blonde." He fingered a honey blonde curl.

Tonks let out a shriek and tumbled out of bed again. Offering Lupin the same view he had just offered her, she ran over to the full-length mirror beside the picture window. She was completely unmorphed, totally in her natural state. "It's a miracle." She joked.

"Wonder what the miracle was." Lupin laughed. "Now, get back in bed." He threw back the covers for her.

Tonks giggled as she joined him. "Well, now I'm not worried about you or us. You told me Sirius' death was not my fault and I accept that now. And I saw last night that the kids do a halfway decent job defending themselves, potion or not. Thank God that Scrimgeour gave me the next two days off. I'll still have the stress of the job, but not with all that extra to go along with it. I plan to relax for two whole days."

"Time for a bit of a lie-in. We are not allowed to get out of bed for the next two days."

"How do we eat?" Tonks asked logically.

"Katrina. She'll check in on us."

As if on cue, the house elf knocked on the door. "Master? Miss?"

"Good morning, Katrina." They called in unison. The bedroom door swung open to reveal the Lupin family house elf balancing a full tray with her magic.

"Good morning, Master. Good morning, Miss. Katrina figures Master and Miss is very hungry. Miss was loud last night."

Lupin laughed at his impertinent house elf as Tonks blushed scarlet. At the sight of the tears in her eyes they both felt guilty, which was doubled, as elf begged, "Please don't take Miss away from Katrina again."

"I'm not going anywhere, Katrina." Tonks told her gently, getting out of bed wrapped in the sheet. Kneeling in front the house elf, she told her, "In fact, you better owl my mother so you two can coordinate wedding plans."

"Miss is wearing Mistress' ring. Master has asked Miss to marry him?"

"Yes, I did, Katrina." Lupin said joining Tonks wrapped in the blanket. "I'm very lucky, and grateful, that she accepted. Let Nymphadora owl her mother first before you begin wedding plans. A small wedding." He added as the house elf exited the room excitedly.

"Back in bed." Tonks told him, pushing him gently onto the bed.

"Yes, my love. What are you going to do to me?"

"Have my wicked Metamorphmagus way with you of course. Do you like red heads? Or perhaps, black?" She giggled as Lupin pulled Tonks down into the bed with him.

"I love Dora, any way, shape, or form she comes in. Pink?" He asked hopefully.

Scrunching up her eyes, she morphed. She could tell by the look of joy on his face that her hair was once again short, spiky, and bubblegum pink.

They spent the rest of the day in bed alternating between making love, talking about what had happened the night before, and sleeping.

Tonks rolled out of bed as morning broke on the second day. She quietly dressed in her jeans and his jumper then went barefoot downstairs to owl her parents. As she was finishing the letter, Lupin strolled into the kitchen.

"You broke our lie-in." He smiled at her.

"Owling Mum and Dad. Not that I'm complaining, but how many more times could we make love?" She blushed at his grin. "I see.And you called yourself an old man."

"A wolf never tires of his mate." He grinned at her, acknowledging her backhanded compliment. "Speaking of, I need to check your mark. Is that my jumper?"

"Yes, darling." She told him absentmindedly, scratching her chin with the quill. "Isn't marriage all about sharing?"

Shaking his head, he crossed the room to where she was sitting on a stool, writing on the counter. "You do know that we have a dining room with a table?"

"More cosy in here." Tonks waved at her large mug of tea and large plate of toast. "How's this sound? ' Dear Mum and Dad, You have heard by now what happened the other night. Both Remus" Tonks looked up for a moment "She always asks after you" Then returned to reading her letter "- and I are fine. We are at Lupin Manor until contacted, probably sometime today. There is a spot of joy in this sad time, Remus has asked me to marry him and I accepted-" Once again, Tonks interupted herself "I can see her face now!" Then finished reading what she'd written. "A small wedding, Mum! We'll be by soon as we can. Love, Remus and Nymphadora'."

"We're a matched set now, huh. Remus and Nymphadora." He said as he stole a piece of her toast. "Marriage is all about sharing." He tossed her own words back at her as she protested.

Tonks stuck her tounge out at him, then she sealed the letter with her wand and attached it to the large barn owl that belonged to the Manor. They watched together at the kitchen door as the owl took off.

"Now, let me check your mark." He pulled his jumper down to reveal her left shoulder. There was the werewolf mate bite that he had given her two nights ago. It was pink and swollen, but looked nothing like the bites that Bill had received.

"Amazing." Tonks murmured.

"What?" He asked, prodding the skin gently.

"My sense of smell seems like its on overload. All I can smell is you. I'm totally aroused right now." She told him before turning and capturing his mouth savagely.

"Oh my God." Lupin muttered as he backed her out of the kitchen and back up to the bedroom.

Lupin's eyes cracked open a few hours later to see Minerva McGonagall's Patronus staring at him. It meowed in greeting then relayed its message. As it vanished, he groaned.

"Dora." He shook his mate. "Wake up, love. Minerva needs us."

"I'm up." Tonks said sleepily. "Did you call me Dora?"

"Yes. I have been. Do you want me to call you Tonks as we make love? You hate your given name, though it is appropriate."

She laughed. "I do like Dora. You're only you can call me that, though." She smiled at the pleased look on his face.

Getting serious, Lupin told her, "Minerva has a mission for us. Grimmauld Place's Secret Keeper is gone. You and I have to go make sure and double check that there is no Order paperwork or anything of the sort lying around. While the house belongs to Harry, the Charm has been broken. Anyone, including Bellatrix and Narcissa, can go waltzing into the house.. Are you okay?"

"I don't want to go back there, Remus. There are too many memories."

"We have to go back, Dora. We'll face those memories together. Just think how happy Sirius would be now we're engaged." He stroked her cheek as a lone tear slid down it.

"He'd be ecstatic." She agreed. "Well, let's go and get this over with." She turned to reach for her jeans that she had been wearing for two days when she noticed her overnight bag on the bedside nightstand. "Katrina?" She asked him.

"Katrina. She's a smart little house elf. Willing to do anything to please her new Mistress."

"That reminds me, I'm going to have to give up my flat. Lupin Manor is my home now." She smiled at the grin that broke out on his face. "I'm going to take a quick shower.alone." She added. "Or we'll never get this mission done." She laughed as the grin turned to a fake pout.

During his turn in the shower, she dressed in the red lace knickers and bra he had chosen for her. Throwing on a clean pair of jeans and a purple t-shirt, she turned as he exited the bathroom draped on in a towel. "What colour hair?" She asked.

"Purple, to match your t-shirt." He told her quickly getting dressed. "Let's go."

They Apparated to Grimmauld Place's park. There, across the street, was Number 12. Neither made a move towards the house.

"I don't want to be here. " Tonks told him. "I haven't been here since that night."

"Neither have I."

"Where did you stay between that night and the sixth day when I woke up?"

"Either at the hospital or the Burrow. Molly cleaned out the house, including all my stuff. It's smart of Minerva to have someone double check. Are you ready for dear Auntie Ascella's screams?" He asked as he tapped the door with his wand. It opened.

"Ready as I'll ever be. You sure you want to marry me? That means you'll be marrying into the Black family."

He chucked as she shuddered. "I suppose I'll have to. I'll take them if I get you."

Remus pushed the door open, they were greeted with silence. Ascella Black's portrait still hung on the wall, but she watched as they entered the house.

They both jumped as she quietly asked, "Is it true? My son Sirius, the last Black, is dead. Tell me that Phineas Nigellus is lying. That the House of Black is not defunct."

Lupin and Tonks exchanged startled glances. Tonks shuffled up to her great aunt's portrait actually feeling sorrow for a woman who had screamed obstinacies at her and anyone else of whom she did not approve. "I'm sorry Aunt Ascella, but, yes, Sirius is dead. The only trueborn Blacks left are my mother, Aunt Bellatrix, and Aunt Narcissa. There is Draco and I, but." She trailed off as Mrs Black closed her eyes and looked away "Let's go, Remus."

They quickly searched the house in silence. Molly Weasley had done a thorough cleaning; there was not a paper, or anything else for that matter, in sight. Even the drawers in all the bedrooms were cleared out.

"Nothing." Lupin announced as he finished checking the desk in the library. He turned to see Tonks staring into the empty fireplace. "Are you alright, Dora?"

"I can't believe he's dead." She said. Remus wasn't sure if she was talking about Sirius or Dumbledore. "What are we going to do? Our fate rests solely in the hands of a 16 year old boy."

Lupin crossed to where she was standing. Turning her around, he raised her face to his and said, "We have to move on. We need to support Harry in whatever he needs to do, no matter what it costs us. We have each other, but Harry's going to need us as well."

"Let's go. There's nothing here." She whispered. "Take me home, Remus."

Hand in hand, they made their way to the front door. As they exited, Tonks told Mrs Black goodbye. They would probably never meet again.

Neither heard Ascella's sad whispered response of farewell.

TBC


	14. Epilogue

Intimate Confessions

Gijane

Disclaimer, Rating, Summary: See Chapter One

Chapter Notes: Dumbledore's funeral (WHY, Ms Rowling, WHY!)

Author's Note: The plotline continues into my Year 7 fic (which is rapidly gaining epic status). That is being submitted to the SugarQuill. I'll probably post it here as well.

OH MY! You got Ch13 AND the Epilogue in one night! I'm off to London (no, siriusly, I am) on Wednesday, so I wanted this fic up and complete before I took off. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. My Year 7 epic, 'Harry Potter and the Hunt for the Horcruxes' was accepted at SugarQuill! YEAH! Thanks to all, espically my 3 betas.

Epilogue- Farewell and Persevering

Tonks and Lupin Apparated back to the Manor. McGonagall's Patronus was waiting outside the kitchen door for them. It meowed a greeting then relayed its message and instructions. Once it had vanished, they exchanged sad glances. Tonks began to cry. Lupin held back his own tears and wrapped his arms around Tonks.

"I can't believe his funeral is tomorrow." She whispered. The two sank onto a couch in the living room, pulling into his lap. "Dumbledore…dead. I thought he'd outlive us all."

"We all did, love." He soothed. "We all did."

Early the next morning they soberly prepared for the difficult day ahead. Lupin, dressed in his best suit and robes, turned around as he heard Tonks' gasp of dismay from behind. She stood in front of the full-length mirror peering at herself. She was dressed in a black calf length skirt, white blouse, and black robes. "I look…old."

He let out a bark of laughter. "You look wonderful. It's very appropriate."

"I didn't even knew I owned such clothes. Do you really like it?"

"That would be Katrina again." He laughed, walking over to her. Tilting her face up to his, he kissed her. "Yes, I do. I like it a lot."

"Remind me to thank her later." She muttered, while returning his kiss. "Let's go, before we start something. Then we'll be late."

"If we got there at all." He said. She laughed.

They Apparated into Hogsmeade and joined the people who were making their way to Hogwarts. The school's gates were open. Proudfoot and Savage stood guard. They both nodded at Tonks but remained almost unreadable, but their eyes showed compassion.

"I'll have to wait until they are off duty to see what's been going on." She whispered to him. He nodded.

As they approached the front doors, they recognized the upright form of Minerva McGonagall, dressed in all black, a sign of mourning. She seemed to be searching for someone. As her eyes landed on them, she offered a ghost of a smile, noting that they were holding hands.

"Remus, Nymphadora…there you are. Come, the rest of the Order is waiting in the Hospital Wing with Bill."

"Hello, Minerva. How are you holding up?" Lupin asked her gently.

"As well as can be expected. Now, how are you two doing? I see that you actually took Arthur's and my advice, Remus."

Lupin told her. "I listened to both of yours, but it was actually Ron that spurred me into action."

Tonks, who had been informed of Ron's words, smiled.

"I just heard about that from Molly. I'm glad you listened to someone. And you." She turned to Tonks. "You're actually in your natural state."

"You don't like it?" Tonks asked, twirling a honey blonde curl around a finger.

"Oh I do, Nymphadora. I'm just trying to figure out why you never stayed natural for any of my classes."

"It _was_ Transfiguration, Professor." Tonks smirked. Lupin chuckled, but covered it up with a cough as McGonagall glared at him.

"I do think that Albus would have preferred bubblegum pink." McGonagall offered another ghost of a smile as Tonks immediately scrunched her eyes up and morphed her hair.

"I'm glad that there's a little more love in this world with you two. Albus would have been so pleased." She paused to collect herself. "Now off to the Hospital Wing, I have to see to the students." She told them as she entered the Great Hall.

As they entered the Hospital Wing, the other members of the Order of the Phoenix greeted them. Molly and Hestia Jones rushed over to hug Tonks while Arthur and Kingsley Shacklebolt shook Lupin's hand.

They all turned sombre faced when Professor Sprout entered the room a short time later. "It's time. I have to go meet Hufflepuff now. I'm sorry everyone."

Fleur helped Bill out of bed and the Order filed out behind the Herbology professor and made their way to the grounds. As they passed the Great Hall, they could hear the hum of hundreds of students. They made their way to where the chairs and a table were set up for the ceremony by the lake. They noted all the different people that had come to show their final respects to the fallen Headmaster.

"What's she doing here? " Hissed Tonks as her eyes found Dolores Umbridge.

"I don't know, but not now, Dora. Here come the children."

They watched as the students filed down from the school and took their seats. Lupin leaned forward to find Harry. Tonks knew when he did because he took her hand and squeezed it.

When the staff took their seats, a strange music began to fill the air. "There." Lupin pointed towards the lake. The Merpeople had arrived.

"And there." Tonks murmured, pointing towards the Forbidden Forest. The centaurs as well were showing their respect.

Hagrid walked up the aisle carrying Dumbledore's body, which was wrapped in purple velvet spangled with gold stars. Hagrid placed the Headmaster's body on the table, and then shuffled off towards the back where his half brother was seated. The officiator stood and began to speak. Lupin squeezed Tonks' hand harder, holding back his emotions. She let her tears flow free.

After the officiator was done speaking, several people screamed as white flames erupted around Dumbledore's body. Seconds later, a white marble tomb stood where the table had just been. A few more screams came as a shower of arrows were shot off by the centaurs.

With that tribute, the ceremony was over. Lupin and Tonks rose. Shacklebolt, who had taken the day off from his job of protecting the Muggle Prime Minister, asked Lupin how his mission had gone. They sat chatting for a few minutes until Tonks pulled on Lupin's arm. "Look." She said.

Rufus Scrimgeour limped towards Harry, who was walking around the edge of the lake.

"I can't believe him. Again? I thought Christmas was a totally inappropriate time for him to approach Harry, but this is even worse." Lupin made to intercept the Minister, but several hands pulled him back.

"You can't, Remus. Not with the whole of the Wizarding world here. I know he's your godson, but Scrimgeour is the Minister." McGonagall told him as she walked up.

The Order watched as the Minister approached Harry. Their conversation didn't last long. Scrimgeour, Percy, and the rest of the Ministry delegation took their leave, the third Weasley son glancing back to where his family stood as he walked away.

"That's a positive sign." Bill said a bit raspier than usual. Fleur leaned her head on his chest. "He might come around sooner rather than later."

"All the children are coming home." Molly told everyone. They could all tell she was pleased.

"We're moving back in." Fred said, indicating both he and George.

"Charlie got a transfer home." Arthur told them.

"They'll all be home soon them, Molly." Tonks said. "Including Percy."

"We're headed home to change." Lupin said. "Nymphadora and I are meeting the Hogwarts Express at King's Cross. She's escorting Harry to Surrey."

"That should please his family, having a fully trained witch come into their home." Mad-Eye Moody grunted.

"They don't know he's coming home this early." McGonagall told him.

"All the better, she'll be uninvited." Moody grinned.

"Mad-eye, stop it!" Tonks chastised. "Goodbye everyone. We'll see you soon."

"Minerva, if you need a place for Order meetings, the Manor is yours. Goodbye." Taking Tonks' hand, they set off towards the gates.

"Take me home, Remus. We'll make love all night. Well, after I'm done dropping off Harry." Tonks whispered to him.

"Your wish is my command, Dora love. I do feel rather guilty for being so happy at such a sad time, but I know that Dumbledore would be pleased. Just like Minerva said." Lupin grinned down at her then tugged on a short pink spike. "I do love the pink."

His grin grew larger as her laugh echoed across the school grounds.

FINIS


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